Womanhood in the 21st Century

Women around the World (Image)

The Art of being a Woman

I wonder what makes us women. Is it what we show on the outside? Breasts, hips, nipped in waists or something else entirely. Is it our wombs, our ability to bear children? Then are

Jane Mansfield (google image)

those of us who have never borne a child whether by choice or otherwise; are we somehow something less? At just one day short of 16 I lost my ability to bear children, no it wasn’t an accident or a choice, but that is a story for a different day. For years, I believed I was less than other women, somehow not worthy. Certainly, my own siblings have told me “I wouldn’t understand certain things because I am not a mother”.

Is it Motherhood?

But wait, I am a mother I helped raise two sons, didn’t I? Another woman can claim them; nevertheless, my compassion opened my home and heart. They are in part mine, children of my heart. It doesn’t count, I am told. I think that it might, in the scheme of things it counts toward being uniquely me, that empathy. I think that the opening of my heart and home to them and that they still hold my heart captive, I think it might count toward my distinctive womanhood.

Plank Walking or Sitting the Fence

Women on the Brink (postershop)

Being a woman, still pondering the definitions. I am strong and resilient in both body and soul. Is this a feature of my gender, I wonder? I was able to survive both physical and emotional hardships where others of either gender might not have. Could my ability to survive and even thrive against extreme odds be my gender or is it just my personal resilience? I have concluded that it is simply me. When I consider the attributes that make me who I am none of them seem to be gender specific; Humor, intelligence, compassion, strength of character, morals, ethics and competitiveness. These don’t seem to be gender specific just my personal nature.

So this leaves me wondering still about the uniqueness of being a woman. It cannot be

Women4truth image

physical attributes alone that make us women. It cannot be our ability to give birth as the sole defining attribute; I have parented without giving birth and am also an adopted child.

For me being a woman is a journey of self-discovery. If I stumbled along the way, it is because I have allowed others to classify me in a manner that does not fit who I am as a person or as a woman. As I get older, I gain more clarity that the labels society uses to define us are more for their comfort than for ours. I don’t buy the labels anymore though I acknowledge them. In the past, I bought them even pinned them to my coat, they hurt me more often than not.


Being a woman, I am uniquely myself. There are times I am considered controversial by

Just Me, Really

others; I can live with this. There are times I am considered outspoken; I can live with this as well. I am loyal to those I care for. Cautious about whom I trust. I admit to rarely giving people a second chance, something I should work on in the future. Being a woman, I think that we are simply individuals born with gender specification. Nothing special until we create for ourselves that which makes us unique.


  1. Androgoth says:

    I am enjoying your Space my friend, you have a
    wonderful gift for writing and I will be calling back
    to read some more of your work 🙂

    Have a very nice afternoon and evening 🙂

    Androgoth Xx

  2. Another nice one Val. As I’ve expressed many times, it is my belief that we are created equal. I can cook, wash dishes and do laundry. I can care for the children. If my spouse can do a job better than me, I will gladly stay home and be a ” House Hubby”. As for loving others children, if you open your heart completely, all children are the same. They all need food, baths, shelter and LOVE! When you love openly, you can love all children the same whether they are yours or not. Keep on loving, Grant

  3. Another post which needs a love button. We are far more than the sum of our reproductive organs. Pigeon holing women into caste roles is Neanderthal, regardless of the perpetrator being male or female. Likewise, granting leeway or tolerance based on sex is equally repugnant.

    Meanwhile, I embody many of the societal definitions of woman, to varying degrees. Like everything else in life, it is merely a designation with which others identify you without respect to your individuality.


  4. It is always up to us whether or not we rise above our original genetics. I can not speak on being a Woman, having never been such, but I know that being male and able to make children does not make one a Man. I can intuit that the same is true for the female of the species. Giving Love and care to children not of your blood is much harder than people think, and significantly more difficult and important than the act of merely producing one. Kudos to you. Another insightful read. Thank you for sharing.

    • Thanks for stopping by. I had to learn and then relearn about loving other peoples children despite being adopted. I had one great example and one not so great, perhaps that was my confusion.

      I suspect though our gender is not the issue only our ability to exist in the world and leave our mark in a positive fashion. The rest? It is all fluff.


  1. […] the 7% who chose familial status as their descriptor, most were women. Men were less likely to consider their positions in the […]

  2. […] the 7% who chose familial status as their descriptor, most were women. Men were less likely to consider their positions in the […]

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