Philosophically Speaking the World in Motion
Silken flames follow your breath
Catching me unaware
Unprepared for you
Rising up from my slumber
Skin on skin
Tracing my curves
Dawn brightens the shadows
Desire engulfs us
Cries of please
Arms reaching up and out
Wrists held tightly
Muscles pulled taut
Expectancy raises hopes and trembles
Breath caught, held
Sighs released, breathless
Engulfed by endless waves of Yes
Yes and more
Yes and now
Yes Again
Valentine Logar
30 December 2014
Christmas this year was a two-day celebration of giggles, cries of surprise, gift-wrap flying and for me at least a bit of nostalgia, a sense of melancholy even. I am uncertain why it was so poignant this year, why I felt so off centered and incomplete, but this year was off for me. This year I felt slightly disconnected from those I love, from the celebrations, from well from all of it. For some reason this year, despite being in the middle of it all for two days I simply felt isolated.
I admit there have been things on my mind. There have been some additional stresses in my life lately that have been weighing heavily on me and causing me some anxiousness; usually this wouldn’t change the pleasure I take in my family, especially my children and grandchildren. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy them either, truly, I did, my grandchildren are a treat and though it is a bit overwhelming now and then, I am fortunate in the women my sons married and the extended families they brought with them. We are the true American family, extended and expanded through multiple marriages. What makes us a bit different I suspect, is we have managed to keep ex’s close and engaged, thus children continue to benefit. Yes, this sometimes makes it strange, but it works.
But back to the strange sense of sitting above it all watching rather than participating this year. Maybe it was simply so many of the traditions I grew up with were absent and I finally noticed, finally really missed them. Perhaps, it was the rest of my family was missing; all of my siblings some of whom I haven’t seen since my father passed away five years ago, my wonderful heart mother having passed only ten months earlier. With their passing, something went out of us all I think and we set aside some of the traditions we had all made fun of but in truth had cherished. Certainly one thing we lost was our sense of family, our bond. Even while still mourning my beloved parents, I mourn that loss just as much I think.
My cousin / siblings, don’t blink your eyes so quickly I am after all from Texas we do things strangely down here. Yes, my father married his sister-in-law and no it isn’t incest (my brother asked). 
It was a match of the heart, a true love match after they had both been single for many years, her after being widowed and him after divorcing my mother. They had known each other for more years than they had been married and divorced combined. We all cheered their marriage and they brought us together as adults and created a large and loving family, though perhaps a bit on the odd side sometimes. We were a loud, loving and rambunctious clan. My heart mother welcomed all of us, along with spouses, children, step-children, partners and friends to Hearts Home with open arms. But Christmas time was the best time of all.
Christmas Eve, where we all dressed up in our finery. The women in satin, velvet and lace with make-up and hair done and high-heeled shoes. The men in suits and ties, if you had to wear jeans they had to be your Sunday-go-to-Meeting best. Children were even put in nice clothing for the evening. The Christmas Eve meal of so damned much food and so many types of cookies and candies, all of them homemade with love. The most important parts of the evening, the Eggnog toast, where each of us made a toast that we spent days thinking about and some man in the family always toasted the women in the family and all the other men groaned because that was going to be their toast. The reading of the Christ Story by my heart mother and the youngest grandchild and finally the singing of the carols which always ended with Jingle Bells, always and we all had bells on ribbons which we rattled at appropriate times.
I should add here, most of my family could not sing a lick. The singing of the carols was like fingernails on a chalkboard to even the most untrained ear, but it was tradition and it was fun. We all groaned, we all whined, but we all did it and we all had fun.
Gift giving was a managed affair, of course, we spoiled slightly any children but we did not exchange gifts between adults. There was an assigned name; you bought one gift outside of your spouse or significant other. Your gift could not exceed $50. Then we had the White Elephant gift market, all children under 18 left the room and the ruthlessness of the adults came out. This was a terrible and hysterical part of the night. Draw a number, pick a gift and open it. Better hope you got a high number, or your spouse got a high number. The higher your number the better your chances of getting something you want out of the pile of gifts in the middle of the floor. During each round, each gift can only be exchanged one time, so once you open your gift look around the room at the other gifts that have been opened, want something else? Take it and give them what you have, they then look around to see what else has been opened; if they want something else (other than what you just took from them) they do the same. It is a ruthless game! There were always some really good gifts and some really stupid gifts. We had such fun.
At the end of the night, we played games. Usually board games until we were tired. Though sometimes we played billiards and sometimes cards. Adults in one part of the house and young ones in another.
My eldest playing pretty princess with his youngest cousin
Christmas day was more relaxed though we had the morning presents for the children under the tree and the big family dinner in the afternoon. It was always Christmas Eve that was special for me. It was always that night that set the tone. I loved Christmas day because we were all together, comfortable and talking, playing games and spending time. But it was Christmas Eve that held so many traditions, even before Hearts Home, even as a child some of these traditions were already part of how I thought of Christmas.
I suppose as new generations take over the celebrations they create their own traditions. This year I think I just missed the old ones.
We are coming onto Christmas 2014, only a day away before some of us begin to celebrate with family and friends. For others, this is a time of sadness, a time of loneliness and harsh emotional undoing. For some of us it is a time for introspection, of considerable thought about where we are, who we are and what we might want for ourselves and those we love.
For me, this past year has been a roller coaster. Don’t mistake me, I love roller coasters; hell, I miss roller coasters. The day my doctor said, ‘it is probably a bad idea for you to ride roller coasters anymore’, I wanted to weep. That was many years ago, I have ridden a few since that day and discovered much to my chagrin he was right; don’t you hate it when that happens? There are many things I could say about this year, some I believe I will keep to myself, forever and ever, amen; some, I will say because it needs to be said and some I will say only if and when the opportunity presents itself to say to the person who needs to hear it.
This though is about the holidays, specifically this is about Christmas and the changing of the year. It is also about what I have observed.
First, people are insane. For the most part, people are downright crazy mean. Why is it the season that should bring out the best in people brings out the nastiest and ugliest in people? I mean really, will little Tom or Sally just DIE if they don’t get that latest toy under the tree? Did you really just shove that woman to grab the last one off the shelf at Wal-Mart? Are you really in such a hurry you cut off that woman with three children so your azz could have a parking spot closer to the door? Did you truly just say to the elderly couple in line ahead of you, ‘can’t you move any faster?’
Gawd, you people suck so badly it is difficult for me to even believe we are related somewhere back in time. Do you know what else is difficult for me comprehend?
Next on my list, the just downright mean and nasty across social media right now, really people give it a rest would you please. We all know what you think on any give subject, but must you spew your bile all over everything at this time of the year? Worse yet, must you do it all over everyone else’s timelines and pages? Honestly, if you disagree with someone is it impossible for you to do so with civility and common courtesy? Better yet, how difficult is it for you too simply move along? I will admit, I love a good debate as much as the next person but if the only thing you bring to the table is fictional talking points made up by some squirt mouth in the backroom of Faux, The Heritage Foundation or WorldNet Daily then please do us all a favor, keep it too yourself. I truly am all for diverse opinions and mixed government, fully in support of a true democratic solution (which we do not have today). Nevertheless, at this time of the year, you know ‘peace on earth and goodwill to men’, is it imperative you beat down those who think differently from you?
I have deleted and blocked more people on Facebook and other social media sites in the past five weeks than I have in the entire past year. Is it, is it me or them?
Finally, let us for just one minute talk about your religion, it is after all one of the cornerstones of your life; right? After all, you have spent the better part of the past several centuries trying to enforce your morality, based on your religion on others. You have done this enforcing and force-feeding through wars, legislation and just plain simple making it miserable for everyone around you who doesn’t believe like you do. Now frankly the insane part of this is, you are all nodding your heads right now and thinking to yourself, ‘Yeah, those f’ng (insert other religion here) sure are a bunch of Fundamentalist / Extremist / Terrorist / Nutjobs’. The fact is, all of you all are exactly all of those things if you can’t leave well enough alone, can’t leave other folks alone to believe what they choose to believe and can’t see for just one minute, you can’t be the only ‘right’ way if there are over four thousand (4,000) other ‘right’ ways out there right this very minute, all of which believe they are ‘right’. So give it a rest, would you please.
By the way American’s in particular, no, no, no! America is not and never was intended to be a ‘Christian Nation’. It was intended to be a nation of laws. While the majority of you may be Christians, this does not change the Declaration of Independence and its intent, it does not change the Constitution and its intent. It also does not change all of the writings by those who wrote those two documents on their intent regarding the Nation and its relation to Religion, read up on this if you have any questions. Your desire to bend history, making it more palatable to your desires is both pitiful and frightening. Pitiful because it shows the shallowness of your intellect, frightening because it shows your willingness to sink our nation into ignorance to achieve your goals.
Those are my three peeves as we come into the holiday season and the New Year. Do I think it is getting better? No, in fact I think this nation is sinking fast, compassion and empathy seem to be in short supply and ignorance is on the rise, even celebrated. As a nation, we seem to have lost something, perhaps it is our soul. I am saddened by the great chasm dividing us as a people.
For me? I am going to try to do better this coming year. I am going to try to visit you more often. I am going to try to write more frequently, spread my wings to more subjects and see the world beyond my backyard. I am going to try to engage my community and do more than speak.
For the season? I will be with my family and I hope all of you will be with those you love. I am going to try to remind myself to tell those I love, whether family by blood or by choice that I love them and am grateful to have them in my life.
So with that off my chest and out of my system.
The House is such a lovely group of ne’er-do- wells’ it is difficult to believe this is the braintrust leading our nation. Lest I be too focused on those dunderheads in The House, The Senate will apparently follow them down the path of running grandma over with the Bentley. The President has already signaled he too wants to get the hell out of Washington, so he will get his signature pen ready versus his Veto pen and guess what, they will all be happy.
Here are some of the highlights of what the Congressional House Republicans and Democrats voted on last night round about 11pm when most of the rest of us were fast asleep and paying no never mind to their high handedness.
Dodd-Frank, yes sir they gutted it. Don’t know what this is, shaking your head and saying so what are you? Well remember when the banks nearly failed in 2008 and we the people, the taxpayers, all of us that is had to bail them out. Do you remember that? I surely do, people lost their savings, their homes, their jobs and some of those people are still jobless and homeless. Remember that time, prior to this administration being sworn into office 9 January 2009.
Campaign Finance, can’t ever say these greedy SOB’s aren’t looking out for number one, no indeed not. Never say never, can you say Citizens United on steroids; if not learn to and post haste. They have taken out their best carving knives and shredded the McCain-Feingold legislation of 2002 that limited individual donors to $32,400 to either party this year would be able to up the ante, not by a few measly thousand dollars but by a whopping ten times (10X) the current limit to $324,000. How is that for feathering your own nest.
Egypt gets a $1.3 billion in aid, subject to Democracy and Human Rights conditions. Well my question is, who the hell in this country is fit to measure either.
The EPA gets another $60 Million cut from their budget, down in total 21% since 2010. According the Budget Office and gleeful GOP aides they will have to cut staffing, taking them to the lowest levels since 1989.
Cuyahoga River burns due to chemicals and pollution
Once again, the Budget bans the transfer of Guantanamo detainees to any current facility in the US and bans the spending of any federal funds to build a facility to house them.
Again, the US continues to spend billions to fund Israel, to the tune of $3.1 Billion in random aid in addition to $619 Million in defense aid. Not to be gauche here, however Israel has their own economy and it is fairly healthy, if they would stop trying to steal what small bit of land and peace remains to the Palestinian people it would likely be healthier still. There is no one starving in Israel, there is no need for us to continue to give them billions of our tax dollars every year, especially when those dollars could go to things we need here in this country for our own people.
I love this one, simply because there are so many of those Tea Partiers and Libertarians running about screaming, “Small Government” and “Self-Determination” and “States Rights”, I guess they 
didn’t really mean it. This lovely bars Washington, District of Columbia from legalizing marijuana. Now keep in mind there was a vote, the people of the District approved the initiative and like Colorado and Washington, citizens of the District should be able to smoke a blunt on their porch. But nooooo, the members of the United States House of Representatives forgot, they are only guests in Washington, D.C. not residents.
The list goes on and on, there is more. The cut funding on key education initiatives, they continue their ridiculous Abortion oversight moving it to the ACA to require all policies offered on the Federal Marketplace have a declaration whether they cover Abortions so people can decide for themselves not to buy that policy. They cut additional funds to the ACA, for the ‘Death Panels’.
There are some good things, expansion of sexual assault services for the military and expansion of Veterans Benefits. There is also the funds targeted to fight Ebola and funds targeted for the National Institutes of Health, some of which will go to brain and Alzheimer’s research.
Overall, though, this Omnibus bill is simply Congress working for a C- grade. They are hoping we don’t notice what they are doing and won’t complain. They are supposed to work on these things for the entire 24 months they are in session, dealing with each of the individual budgets and government agencies as independent entities rather than creating these huge Omnibus Bills in the Lame Duck session, two weeks prior to Christmas.
Don’t piss down my leg and call it rain.Talk about a boondoggle Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) apparently got in bed with Rio Tinto to grab native lands. Rather than doing it up front and with full transparency, he shoved in to the NDAA before congress. This little land grab of his was hidden on page 1,105 and both the Democrats and Republicans hid it from everyone until they could hide it no more. Rio Tinto and BHP Billiton would simple walk right in and start the casual destruction of 2,400 of the Tonto National Forest, which includes Apache Leap, burial grounds and other sacred lands to the Apache people.
These lands are supposed to be protected, but never mind.
Just let me say this, I am disappointed our President made a deal with the Speaker of the House on the Budget. Why in the hell did he do that? Doesn’t he know, doesn’t he understand these people hate him. They will never do a damned thing that he wants, not one damned thing. Mitch McConnell, the incoming Majority Leader of the Senate has already said, his first order of business will be a vote to overturn the ACA. Doesn’t he get it? What doesn’t he understand? Isn’t it time for him to say to these old, nasty men and women on both sides of the aisle, ‘if you send me this shit I will veto it without a second thought’.
What the hell is he waiting for? An invitation to their table? Hasn’t he figured it out yet, it is never going to happen.
The best synopsis of the Omnibus Bill: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2014/12/09/whats-in-the-spending-bill-we-skim-it-so-you-dont-have-to/
The best synopsis of the NDAA and Land Grabbing: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/03/ndaa-land-deals_n_6264362.html
What do we do? What do we owe?
Those of who still make up the majority of this nation, who are still walking through the world with a certain privilege bought by the lack of melanin in our skin; we owe something. You might not think so, but we owe something. Oh, I know I have heard the song and dance many times before I could likely put it to music and do a soft shoe shuffle:
The list goes on, sometimes ad infinitum. So, I ask the question again, what do we owe those of us privileged not to walk through the world in fear, what do we owe?
There are those who would answer nothing. To them I say, leave my sight, get out of my space, don’t breathe my air, please. Yes, I try to say it nicely.
There are those who would say, little; maybe, they could send money because money soothes their conscious and allows them to continue with their comfortable lives unencumbered with the dirt 
and grime of what is happening outside. To them I say, well make it a big check and remember your children might someday ask what you did, where you were and how you made a difference. How will you answer them?
Then there are those, like me who struggle with the question. Who struggle with how to reach across the chasm of righteous fury, who can no longer find the words to express our own fury at the quagmire of injustice, blood and brutality that is now in the light of day. There are those, like me who are not the enemy, but we surely do look like them. What can we do, even as we stand up and try to reach across the abyss of mistrust and fury, what can we do? Our empathy is shallow, we who cannot walk in the shoes, cannot slip into the skin; we cannot fully empathize because we cannot place ourselves even for a minute in the position of the mother mourning her dead child, the father who cannot find work simply because of the color of his skin, the youth stopped and frisked one hundred times before he is eighteen for walking on a city street; we cannot feel what they feel, not even for a minute.
What can we do, our compassion seems almost misplaced, sometimes more like sympathy or pity both of which are unwelcome and most especially as we barely move from our comfortable chairs. What can we do, our anger at the injustice seems unfocused as we sit contentedly ensconced in suburbia, nodding our heads and listening to other people telling us, ‘it is terrible out there’. There are those like me who are at a loss, our voices silenced by our inability to speak coherently our own rage, our own fear, our own pain; despite our inability to walk in shoes already filled, some of us, many of us are enraged and want to find our place in a fight that should be ours as well. What do we do, when we can only speak from what we know and who we are, from our own experiences and our own hearts and minds, how do we bring that to a table brimming with righteous pain, rage and mistrust.
What do we do? What do we owe?
I don’t know the answer to either question anymore. I know we must stop trying to over-write and invalidate the clarion call of the movements for justice.
#BLACK LIVES MATTER ≠ #ALL LIVES MATTER
I know we would all like to think ‘All Lives Matter’, it has a pretty ring doesn’t it? The fact is, right now, it isn’t a movement of ‘All Lives’, some of our lives have always mattered, some of us have always had a preferred position, a front seat on the bus. This right now is a different thing, it is not all about ‘All Lives’, it is not about us or you, it is a movement for Justice, for Equality in Justice and it is focused on a community of people who have not received justice since the first sale of African Slaves, known as the ’20 and odd’ in 1607 on these shores.
From 1607 through centuries of slavery, Jim Crow to today with institutional and structural racism built into every corner of our social, cultural and geo-political foundations we have proven ‘all lives’ do not matter, only some matter. What can we do? We can stop hijacking movements, stop being insulted when ‘we’ aren’t included as a matter of principal, stop arguing that we matter; we have mattered for four hundred years, get over it. For once, we can honor the call of another movement, rally to a call that is not specifically ours, be foot soldiers instead of officers, if the movement for justice is to be cohesive and acknowledged, we can simply repeat the call rather than change it.
What do we owe?
I don’t know. Maybe we owe our bodies on the front line, standing in front of police in riot gear protecting those who have been without shields for far too long. Maybe we owe that. Maybe we owe our voices, our demands added to theirs for justice, for equality; maybe we owe that as more than lip service.
I don’t know, what we owe. I don’t know what we can do. Maybe we ask and if we are told nothing, we have done enough; just maybe we should take it, accept it sit down and shut up and wait until we are invited to the party rather than demand our voices be heard.
Perhaps we see ourselves as something other than the enemy, but you know maybe it is just too damned late, maybe it has gone on too damned long. Perhaps, we have allowed by our inaction, our blind indifference the disparity of our systems to corrupt our nation to such an extent, even those of us who wish to reach across the chasm can’t find the right bridge.
What is the answer? I wish I knew.
Do not tempt a desperate man
William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act 5 Scene 3
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Is fear the only thing we feel as we stare through the open window into the future, certainly seems this might be the truth of it, at least for many of us.
The question must be asked, what is it we fear? The better question is, what do those in power fear.
Is it the future itself; is it the unknown and unknowable? Or is it something else, something we can see out of the corner of our eye that frightens the hell out of us. Is it the loss of something most of us don’t have but are certain we could if only, what?
If only, something would happen the way it was promised, by all those damnable slick men way back in the day who said to us, it was them folks over there who were sucking up what was ours, taking away our jobs, our tax dollars and if we voted for them they would make it right. Those slick politicians who said if we would pay a bit more so the ‘job creators’ could pay a great deal less, it
would trickle down to us, you know we would be lifted up with them and those moochers and leeches would be left behind in the gutters where they belonged. If only, it would begin to happen the way it was promised way back when St. Ronnie started telling us the Gospel of Trickle Down and the Parable of the Welfare Queen.
What is it they fear?
I think I know what it is so many in this nation truly do fear. They fear the loss of power. They fear the loss of autonomy. They fear the loss of true majority and the loss of privilege. They fear they will no longer be able to walk through the world with complete sovereignty over every speck of dirt their feet touch and the assurance no person can push them off their pedestal.
That is what they fear and that fear is palatable. It is clear in the laws passed to prevent people from going to the polls and from voting even when they get there. It is clear in the militarization of police forces across the nation, the shift from ‘protect and serve’ to ‘command and control’. It is clear as the corruption of justice becomes blatant, supported by corporate media and corporate owned politicians. It is clear as prison systems become private, corrupt and for profit feeding the greed of the same small feudal lords who own the defense contracts, the militarization of the police, the guns on our streets, our state houses and Washington.
What is it they fear?
I will tell you what they fear. They fear the loss of Whiteness as a sign of Good and Right. They fear the loss of control. They fear the loss of Power. They fear they might not be the biggest, baddest monster in the woods and it scares the living hell out of them. What are they doing? They are trying hard to crush all dissent by any means necessary. They have been doing so for years, decades really. For a brief moment in time, it shifted, but not really what happened is things calmed down and we all looked in a different direction. The truth of the matter is, it is hard as hell to wrest power from the hands of those who have it. It is difficult to convince those who are hanging on to let go, to fall backwards that someone will catch them.
I’ll tell you what’s at the bottom of it. If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.
President Lyndon B. Johnson, 1960 in response to racist signs held up during a motorcade in Tennessee
It seems we haven’t come far since the signing of the Civil Rights Act by President Johnson. The difference between today and 1960, we have a Black President the hate, fear and outright disrespect shown towards him and his family has escalated to a fever pitch in direct response to the fear of the White Man, no matter their place on the economic scale. Oddly, it is predominately the poor and ignorant who hate him, in fact the lower on the economic ladder the more vehemently the hate is expressed.
What do they fear?
Those in power, fear dissent, ultimately they fear the loss of power and thus they are doing everything they can to retain their power. They are crushing the spirit of this nation. They are crushing everything that could make us great, humiliating, imprisoning and killing communities and people. They are dividing us, making those of us who should come together in common cause enemies instead. They are destroying our education system, making each generation more ignorant than the last. We are allowing this, we are buying the pabulum they are selling; sucking at the tit of mass consumerism as if we were starving and they are the sow of plenty.
We sit back and nod our heads, sit on our hands, stare stupidly at the television screen and agree as some overpaid and under-informed talking head delivers lie after lie to our living room, then we repeat it to our friends and family as if it were gospel. We allow and enable the rich and powerful to create a storyline of criminal history for every single unarmed Black Person killed by the police, armed citizen or vigilante. Remember they are the enemy of Whiteness, Rightness and all ‘we hold dear’.
We sit back and nod our heads as families are broken and the pipeline is filled from school to prison, we say not one single thing as schools crumble with not a single cent spent for infrastructure, school improvements, education improvements. Meanwhile prisons continue to be built nationwide and the vast majority of them are filled from those very schools that are crumbling. The false picture being painted, the constant harping of ‘Black-on-Black’ crime with no mention of ‘White-on-White’ crime, no mention of how often one is prosecuted over the other, no mention of outcomes resulting in long prison sentences to feed the for profit system.
What do they fear?
I think they fear we might figure it all out and we just might come together. We just might reach across the vast barrier and rise up. We just might overthrow the oligarchy, the feudal lords of profit and greed before it is too late.
What do you fear? I fear it might be too late.
There is now a process for how it is done, a script to follow, a recipe to mix from that insures a free pass for the right kind of killing. Everyone knows it, in fact, I am going to guess there is a super-secret class taught and only some of the good ole boys are invited to attend. Maybe it is part of the graduation ceremony, or perhaps they wait a little while suss out what kind of good ole boy you are going to be before issuing the invitation, but chances are eventually if you have feelings of superiority combined with a powerful need to kill, you will get invited.
Let’s call it the Zimmerman Defense.
The terrible thing about the Zimmerman Defense, if you are a cop the Prosecuting Attorney’s Office will aid and abet you presenting your defense in the media and to the Grand Jury, thus you will never be indicted for your heinous acts of murder. It is damned near the perfect murder. If you are a sociopath, in need of a bit of blood, simply join your local police force. If you are a racist asshat, in need of a bit of mayhem, have at it put on the uniform; you know the one with the patch that says ‘To Serve and Protect’.
Join the local police force and prepare your Zimmerman Defense, you will have friends in high places jumpstarting your road to freedom, your opportunity to continue your life of violent crime sanctioned by the uniform you wear. Not only will the Chief of Police be on your side making public statements about your sanctioned murder, the Police Union will stand behind you, the Prosecutors Office will lie for you, Governors will protect you, the media will work hard to show your ‘side’ of the story, no matter how insane it is. Finally, if you are truly the type of person everyone loves to whimper over as if your murderous actions were somehow heroic, they will raise money for you and you will become rich and famous; not infamous as you should, not a convict 
as you deserve, but rich and famous.
The most ludicrous part of this entire situation is we the people pay for this. We the people, pay the cops who kill. We the people, we pay the District Attorney to lie and warp the justice system in favor of Killer Cops. We the people, we pay the salaries of the Governors who call out the National Guard to ‘control’ peaceful demonstrators exercising their Constitutional Rights at Free Speech, or maybe in at least one case (Ferguson) Jay Nixon knew the fix was in and he wanted to avert riots from overflowing into White parts of town (yeah, I am suspecting this was likely it). The fact is, we the people pay for all of this, we pay for Apartheid, we pay for Genocide and we turn our backs, failing to acknowledge these acts for what they are. Making excuses for the murderers in our midst wearing the uniforms we pay for, with those patches that clearly say, ‘To Serve and Protect’. Obviously, they were not intended To Serve and Protect the communities or the people they are with abandon murdering in cold blood.
Do I sound bitter? Do I appear to be one sided in my views? I was told, as recently as yesterday my credibility on this subject was lost for several reasons:
Those are just the highlights; some of the others were even more insulting to my intelligence. I let them slide, I didn’t respond to the person saying them instead taking a page from someone I care for deeply, blocking them and ending the conversation. Am I bitter? Why yes I am, I find this nation growing worse rather than better, I find this nation instituting laws to disenfranchise communities of people, stop their voices and strip them of their rights and those of us who could do something instead do nothing. I watch as voices are silenced, men and women are slaughtered in our streets, prisons are filled, schools are emptied and we do nothing. I listen to those who should be our leaders as they say the most blatantly racist and sexist things in public forums and are re-elected to high office; we sit back and do nothing. I watch as our justice system is corrupted to serve the few, we do nothing. In fact, we do worse than nothing; we nod our heads and remain silent.
We watch as an 18 year old is gunned down and left to lie in the street for four hours, we say nothing instead allowing his name to be tarnished. We listen as they call him Thug, Thief, Demon and 
we nod our head and accept this as maybe truthful, maybe Michael Brown did ‘puff up as the bullets entered his body’ as that murderer Darren Wilson claimed in his Grand Jury testimony. No, No it didn’t happen that way. No, Michael didn’t punch him on the right side of his face while he was still in the car, no he didn’t go after his holstered gun either. The murder, Darren Wilson lied he applied the Zimmerman Defense and was aided and abetted in doing so. The murder, Darren Wilson is lower than a ham sandwich and anyone with an ounce of common sense knows it. The problem is we watch then hang our head, refusing to do more.
We watch as police roll up on Tamir Rice, a twelve-year-old child and shoot him dead in an empty park. We see it all on video, we see they make no attempt to talk to him, no attempt to determine whether his ‘gun’ is real or a toy, despite the 911 caller said he thought it was a toy. They just roll up and before the car stops moving they shoot to kill, not wound but kill. Will they be indicted? Likely no, the DA in Cleveland is planning the Grand Jury route on this one also.
We watched as Eric Garner is taken down in a chokehold, as he says eleven times while face down on the sidewalk of New York, “I can’t breathe”, we watched cops pile on him, we watched knees 
placed on his head forcing his face further into the concrete. We listened and learned that chokehold had been banned, made illegal twenty-years earlier and then we watched as the Grand Jury came back with a No Bill against the cop who killed Mr. Garner with that chokehold. That cope, Daniel Pantaleo is another who is lower than a Ham Sandwich.
How dare we condemn other nations for their civil rights violations when we think it is perfectly acceptable to gun down unarmed Black and Brown men and women in the streets of our cities, or choke them to death, or beat them on the side of the road, or perform no-knock warrants and kill infants in the process. How dare we even consider condemning other nations for their records when we have undeclared Apartheid in our own nation, with each whittling away at Voting Rights it becomes more declared and more obvious. How dare we look outside of our borders to point fingers at the bad behavior of any other nation when we are incapable of living up to our own declared standards of behavior, even the basics of ‘All Men are Created Equal’.
Bitter, hell yes I am bitter and I am ashamed of this nation and its people.
QBG_Tilted Tiara 