QBG_Tilted Tiara

Don’t Mind Me

April 21, 2024 by valentinelogar Leave a Comment

I am sitting here in the quiet of my own space wondering what in all the world I should do with all the spare time I have. You know, the time that stretches in front of me into the horizon of the unknown. I hadn’t thought there would be this narrow and dark void I would be walking along, not now when things should be settled, peaceful, and maybe a bit brighter than they are. But here I am, staring down a future that feels uncertain and frequently terrifying.

No one knows how many hours they have to spend on this earth, how many breaths they will take, how many “I love you’s” they will say or hear in their lifetime. No one knows how slowly the sand will run through the hourglass of their life or how each grain will be spent. The best any of us can hope for, we will be present and gather the grains of our misspent youth as lessons for a richer and better-spentjourney during the remainder of our lives.

This year I lost a sibling and a friend. I am watching as another friend slides into depression while another is gripped by dementia. I am struggling with these losses. This year, I have had to reconcile myself to the idea that some of my longest-lasting friendships have changed, even fallen away. I miss them, and some of this is my fault as I push myself deeper into my own spaces and my own comfortable isolation. I recognize my reluctance to create human connections for what it is, knowing that each time I try to step out, I feel judged, rejected for my imperfections, and sometimes used. I realize my trust in humanity is diminished by my history. Unfortunately, my recent experience with stepping outside hasn’t changed my mind.

So, I sit here in the space I have created for myself. The silence stretches endlessly except for the music I play to suit my mood. What I have noticed;

When people call these days, they want or need something from me.
My email is filled with requests for money or sales pitches.
Potential lovers are not interested in more than themselves and their instant gratification.

Where does that bring me? Despite having spent my entire adult life taking care of everyone around me, I will be the only one to take care of me as I walk the last part of my life. It is daunting; it is a painful realization. Some mornings, when I have had a rough night, when I have had nightmares or seizures, when I haven’t had enough sleep, I resent the hell out of this prospect. Some mornings, I wonder how I got here, and then I consider all the ingredients poured into me and think, well, perhaps this is my portion. After all, I don’t come free of scars, bruises, and demons I dance with; it isn’t easy to get through my walls, I don’t let many know I might have a weakness or be vulnerable.

A decade after my divorce, I find myself staring down that road and saying this wasn’t the plan. Unfortunately, things don’t always go as planned. Twice in this decade, I thought I had found that person who would stay, walk beside me, and partner with me as an equal. I was wrong; in the end, they were there for what they could get for themselves. At the end of the day, I was always wrong. Ultimately, I learned that broken trust breaks something inside of us that isn’t easily repaired.

So, don’t mind me. I am trying to reconcile what I wished for and what I thought my life would be with the truth, the reality of where I am. I didn’t expect this. I didn’t expect any of it. I resent it and am trying to create something different, but first, I have to learn to accept there will be no one beside me, no one to soothe me on a bad day, no one to help me walk through pain, no one to drive me in the dark, no one to hold me when I cry, no one to ensure I get through a seizure. It might take a bit of time to accept a reality I wasn’t expecting, but like everything else, I will get there; I don’t have a choice.

It’s hard when our realities change. When creating new expectations for ourselves, we must shift how we see our world and ourselves. So don’t mind me; I am just over here getting my head straight.

Filed Under: Random Thoughts, Things I know, Women Tagged With: Art of Living, consciousness, Lessons Learned, mindfulness, Modern Age, women alone, women and age

What I Notice

April 14, 2024 by valentinelogar 2 Comments

The thing I notice most these days is the tribal nature of society. We are becoming more isolated, living more inside our own bubbles of belief and information. Each tribe refuses to hear, see, or speak to anything or anyone outside their tiny consortium. Each cohort demands others join them in a common cause or die in the fires that will burn when they ‘win.’

It is terrifying to watch this descent. Yet, it is even more horrifying to think that most of us participated in this outcome through our silence or active engagement. Depending on which side of the imaginary wall you stand, we all have some culpability in the state of our nation and society today. Isn’t it amazing? Those innocuous things, initially whispered from the fringes of the far Right or far Left, can no longer be ignored. What we once thought of as ‘those’ people over there; they are ‘us’ in too many cases.

Consider the changes in our lexicon and what they mean in public and private forums.

Situationship	A relationship that is more than friends but less than together. Call it what it is, “friends with Benefits.”	New
MAGA	Trumps lie. Make America Great Again from his 2016 campaign.	New
Influencer	A person with no particular skills who has somehow built a following on a social media site convicing others of their expertise or ‘good life.’	Changed
Gaslighting	The act or practice of grossly misleading another person for personal advantage. Most often found within interpersonal / dating situations.	Changed
Woke	Attentive to important societal facts about social justice” back more than fifty years, but its recent use as a disapproving way of saying “extremely liberal” The term “Stay Woke” first began appearing within the African American community in the 1923. History of Woke	Changed
Cisgender	relating to, or being a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex the person was identified as having at birth, first entered into the lexicon in 1994.	New
Bedwetting	Disparaging: used to describe an exhibition of emotional overreaction to events, major decisions or outcomes.	Changed
Cancel Culture	Popular practice of withdrawing support for (canceling) public figures and companies after they have done or said something considered objectionable or offensive.	New

The above are just some strange words we have accepted as normal, sometimes without understanding their origin or meaning. There are, of course, many more. Some I refuse to add here because they are nothing more than dog whistles and ugly. Some are entirely ignorant, primarily used only in political speech to gain traction within small segments of society, and are unworthy of notice unless you live within those bubbles.

What I notice, we are changing the lexicon to fit a new mode of communication and how we relate to each other in our everyday lives. We create language by giving bad behavior ‘pretty’ or innocuous names. Words often become weapons to disparage entire communities or our political rivals. Every time we do this, we throw up walls preventing us from listening to each other or finding common ground to stand on.

We “catch” feelings. Sounds like we are out at the park throwing a ball. But that isn’t at all what it means. What it means, in truth, is that grown people have begun to care for someone, maybe love someone. What it means is they weren’t expecting it. The ‘caught’ feelings sort of like catching a disease.

We “ghost” someone. Grown people can no longer look each other in the eye and say this isn’t working for me; instead, they “Ghost.” This means they disappear, leaving the other person wondering what went wrong, what they did wrong. What the hell is wrong with people today? Cowards, heartless and without empathy or compassion, these grown folk simply walk away and disappear without a word. Whether it is after a first date, or months of a relationship, Ghosting is a common phenomenon in today’s world of supposedly adult dating. So now we have added “Ghosting” to our lexicon rather than calling it what it is; Cowardly, Craven, Weak, Spinless, Lowlife, Mannerless, and Mean.

I could go on and on about some of this, but I will stop with one that I believe gave us the mess we are in today. Cancel Culture. That’s right; we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the idea that no one should have an opinion outside of the “acceptable” box. I am not saying that some things shouldn’t be called out; they should be. I am not saying that some things aren’t despicable and ugly; they are, and we should hold people accountable. Nevertheless, we are a nation of millions, in fact, 341,432,270, with a median age of 38.1 years. That means there are differing opinions about nearly everything, even if they aren’t expressed. The truth? We are damned mean to each other when we express our views outside of acceptable boundaries or our tribe’s acceptable boxes. What do we do? We Cancel that person, that business, or that thing. We make them pariahs within society; we banish them. Not because they have committed murder, pedophilia, genocide, or rape no, not because of any of these terrible crimes. We cancel them because we disagree and convince others they deserve to be stripped of their businesses, livelihood, reputation, and even their very humanity because we don’t like their opinion.

Please don’t mistake me; there are times when this is absolutely fair. But there are other times when it goes too far. When we go too far and refuse to understand both sides of an argument, respecting another person’s Right to speak or act in the same way we demand our Right to speak is both hypocritical and petty. There has to be a middle ground where each side listens and even sometimes accepts uncomfortable truths, not because they agree, but because it is how society functions for all of us successfully. Sometimes, it is compromise; other times, it is by acceptance of another person’s Right to live outside of our own ‘truth’ without being battered.

I love words; I love how they change over time to encompass social and generational changes. I am fascinated by the idea that we can embrace cultural shifts without even realizing we are doing so. Nevertheless, what we are seeing today, in so many states across this beautiful and distinct nation of ours, is the stripping of our history, the erasure of diversity, the very thing that makes us great.

If we aren’t careful, if we don’t stand up for every American and for our Democratic Republic in November with our vote for Democracy, we will lose more than the Right to disagree. Don’t sit on your couch this November. Don’t take a pass because you hate both candidates. Don’t vote third-party in protest. Vote because your future depends on it.

Filed Under: Op Ed Tagged With: current-events, Modern Age, Politics, Society

Too Much

March 27, 2024 by valentinelogar 2 Comments

The other side of the bed is always empty

‘I could sleep there, stretch my legs or arms

Roll over and rest my head

I could touch all the corners

The entire bed is mine every night

But instead, the other side is always empty

For a minute, in a lifetime of hours you were there

Then without a word, a breath of goodbye

The ribbons of silk binding me to the center

Loosened, fell away and I returned to the edge

Now the other side of the bed is always empty

I don’t think it was meant to be

Only that I don’t know how to bind myself

I remain unbound and on the edge

Where I can easily escape slipknots

So even a whispered goodbye or hello

Would remain unheard, in a lifetime of hours

Where a minute wouldn’t matter, and the other side is always empty

3/27/2024

Filed Under: Poetry Tagged With: Erotic Poetry, memories love poetry, Poetry, Poetry Love

Your Mama

March 25, 2024 by valentinelogar Leave a Comment

Yes, I said I would come back to talk about dates. It took me a bit because I have been out on a few. I had a couple of first dates, a couple of second dates. I even had a short courtship that I thought was promising but turned out to be smoke and mirrors. What the hell is wrong with men of a certain age, I have to ask this question. What in the hell is wrong with any of us for that matter.

Women, many of us anyway still dream of finding that partner who will walk with us through the remainder of our days. Men, they apparently still only want the superficial, the short-term, or the not so much.

So let me tell you about these men, of a certain age. These sort of dates, this sort of courtship. Shams and silliness. I am discouraged and disappointed in the quality, the ethics, the standards, and values of the men I have met so far. Perhaps they would say the same of me, who knows.

The difference, in my humble opinion; I am transparent in my wants, desires, expectations, and most specifically who and what I am. The same cannot be said of any of the men I have thus far met, dated, or been ‘courted’ by. I am disappointed that there are not more men who have reached this age capable of adult behavior, conversation, and sustained actions that match the lip service they pay to get what they want.

In a word, I am disappointed there are not more grown assed men in this great big world. Ten years ago, just before my divorce was final, I wrote about what I wanted from the next man in my life, what he was, who he needed to be. I went back to read those two posts, oddly my mystery man hasn’t changed over this past decade. Unfortunately, he remains in the shadow of my mind, quite possibly only a dream.

All I can say to these others, these posers who claim to be grown; your mama’s did not raise you right and your daddy’s surely gave you no direction in what to do when you find yourself in the company of a grown assed woman.

Date One: First, we had to get through his food issues. Then we had to get through planning, yeah, ultimately, I had to find a restaurant that served food he could / would eat (Strike One). Then, he was late by more than 20 minutes despite it being local (Strike Two). Now, it was a casual place, but showing up in raggedy jeans, a Cowboy’s jersey, and not one, not two but three great big metal chains with crosses hanging on your neck, along with a cap on your head that you don’t remove when you sit down; you really haven’t got it together (Strike Four). Finally, when the food is brought out my date tells me he needs to pray before eating, okay; but do you need to pray aloud for three minutes so diners all around us can hear you make a spectacle of yourself and while you are at it, me? When the waiter comes over to fill our glasses, Date One looks me dead in the eye and asks, “you don’t mind if we go Dutch, right?” Oh, hell no I don’t mind; in fact, I insist if it will get me out of here any quicker (Strike Five and Six).

Date Two: After several conversations we decided to meet for lunch. I explained I can’t drive at night, so we agreed on a Saturday and a town between us. He lives southeast of Dallas, and I live northwest. This time I was happy to choose as he was newer to the area. This time we agreed up front to a Dutch date as I wanted to go somewhere a bit more expensive, one of my favorite places. According to his profile and our conversations he had relocated for a job with a local school district. So off we go. I waited for 30 minutes (He was late), when he finally arrived instead of asking at the front, he wandered around looking for me until the waiter took pity and figured out he was likely looking for me (Strike One). He blamed traffic, I knew where he was coming from and had checked so knew he lied (Strike Two). During the course of our conversation, he admitted he had lost his job in Chicago and had come to Dallas because his brother offered him a place to live, though he did work for a school district it was as a driver not a job he relocated for (Strike Three). His manners were atrocious, and he was incapable of holding a conversation beyond gossiping about his own family members, especially the brother who was kind enough to put a roof over his head (Strike Four). He told me what a great lover he was and that I should invite him over that day to try him out (Strike Five). I couldn’t wait to finish my meal with a to-go box, pay my side of the bill and run like hell.

Well, my darlings that is enough of shenanigans for now. I will get to the one who called himself courting me in the next post. That is a story worthy of its own post.

I think I might be destined to live my life alone if this is what is out there to choose from. I am disheartened and sad that men of an age are still playing games and acting the fool. I would have thought by now they would have put this behind them, but I guess not. Maybe that Grown Assed Man isn’t out there at all, maybe he is only in my head.

Filed Under: Love & Marriage, Series: Single Life Tagged With: Dating, Grown Assed Men, Women

Off to the Races

March 24, 2024 by valentinelogar 4 Comments

So, we now have our two candidates, a repeat of the 2020 Presidential Election, though it is not really.

Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr √

Donald John Trump √

Both of them are the oldest candidates ever to run for the Presidency of the United States.

Joe Biden at 81 √

Donald Trump at 77 √

One of them has eighty-eight criminal indictments as of today.

Donald Trump √

One has multiple civil cases where he has been found liable (guilty) and a debt of over half a billion dollars. In any sane world, this would make him ineligible for the presidency simply because it would make him a security risk.

Donald Trump √

That about sums up the difference between 2020 and 2024, though there is certainly more. Let’s dive into what this election season will look like; it will be long and ugly, of this I have no doubt.

I am astounded by the things said about President Joe Biden by the general public; it is as if they live in an alternate reality. This is not to say that I don’t think there are things he could be doing or could have done better. Nevertheless, to suggest that he has diminished our standing as a nation internationally, this is so ignorant on its face it is impossible for me to even understand.

Then we have the issues of the economy; I get it; many are working hard to make ends meet today, and it still feels like we are running on a treadmill. Under Joe Biden and his administration, we avoided a recession, rebuilt real economic growth, added more jobs, and our recovery outpaced every other Western economy globally. On the downside, housing remains high, groceries have not come down, and gas prices remain high despite our reserves and the fact that we are the largest exporter in the world today.

Let’s pick those two things apart for a minute. In recent polls, the unwashed masses thought Citizen Trump would outperform President Biden on Foreign Policy and the Economy. Not to dwell on this too much, but I think Citizen Trump recently invited Putin to do to NATO allies who didn’t pay their bills? That’s right, “to do whatever the hell you want.” Of course, this significantly distorts the NATO alliance as there are no bills to be paid. There is a guideline that 2% of GDP is spent on defense by each Allied Nation. One other salient fact, everything Citizen Trump has ever said about NATO is a lie, and the only time the NATO Treaty Article 5 has ever been acted on was when this nation was attacked on September 11. Every single NATO nation came to our aid.

There is a reason Ukraine is considered the Breadbasket of the world. Before Russia’s invasion, the nation could feed half a billion people with the crops they grew. The land is some of the most fertile on earth, ideally suited for grains, sunflowers, corn, and soybeans. Ukraine fed itself and exported across Europe, Egypt, Africa, Turkey, and China. With Russia’s invasion, not only has farming been stopped in much of the country, exports have obviously been stopped, causing a sharp rise in food prices worldwide and in some cases, food shortages.

Citizen Trump says, let Putin have it. Stop all aid to Ukraine. The House GOP says Okay.

President Biden, says give me an aide package. Support our Ally, as we promised we would. This is not just for Ukraine but for our National Security, and he is right. This is to prevent Putin from moving into a sovereign nation. This is to support an ally. This is to keep our standing in the world. We don’t provide money; we provide them with ordnance already in our stockpile and then make more, providing US jobs. We don’t provide boots on the ground, but if we don’t help Ukraine win this war, we might have to if Putin invades a NATO country.

As for the other, the economy itself? The fact that the people of this nation believe that Citizen Trump and the MAGA GOP would be better than President Joe Biden and his administration speaks volumes. It speaks to the pure simplemindedness of the populace, their willingness to be led by braggarts, their half-truths, and their myopic vision of recent history. Some of these foolish supporters of the MAGA way couldn’t buy toilet paper to wipe their own asses, but they think Citizen Trump has a better understanding of how to handle the national economy.

Let me provide a taste of some of the Poll comments taken recently in support of Citizen Trump:

“As a President, he did many good things for this country. An honest man.”

“He helped the US economy grow.”

“The people of the US were more united under Trump.”

“I think he did a lot for the United States he was good for our country.he is a good man. The country wasn’t in the trouble that it is in now, with gas, food housing, jobs, prices. Look how things are since he Left office.”

“Because he is very humble.”

“He loves America. Always putting America first.”

“He did alot of good for our Country in fighting for Constitutional rights, restoring our own independent energy resources, and getting rid of corruption [deep state], as much as he could.”

Those are just a few of the hundreds, and I can’t take credit for the grammar or spelling, nor did I attempt to clean them up. This, though, is the crazy we are faced with.

When you add the lunacy of a judiciary with jobs for life, many of whom were appointed by Citizen Trump during his time in the Oval Office, and a Supreme Court that appears to be circling the drain of judiciary restraint, what do we have to look forward to in this election cycle? One thing I can guarantee is that it will not be pretty.

Despite the official nominations being months away, we have our candidates, and the campaign season has begun.

Vermin:

a: small common harmful or objectionable animals (such as lice or fleas) that are difficult to control

b: birds and mammals that prey on game

c: animals that at a particular time and place compete (as for food) with humans or domestic animals

This is how Citizen Trump refers to human beings trying to enter this country. He doesn’t differentiate between those entering by legal means from those entering illegally. His only real differentiation is that of those coming across the Southern Border. Now, the interesting thing is four (4) of his five (5) children are the children of immigrant mothers. Citizen Trump himself is the grandson of a draft-dodging, pimp who immigrated from Bavaria (Germany) and set up shop.

So, what is the difference between Citizen Trump and his immigration story? Let me see if I can find it …. pimps, draft dodgers, illegal immigration (Melania)… but, there you go, all of them are, well, what do you know, all of them are Caucasian.

Then you have the oh-so-wholesome and patriotic singing of the National Anthem at his rallies by convicted seditionists and White Supremacists, or as he likes to refer to them .. J6 Hostages. After declaring himself Dictator, He promised his first act will be to pardon all of them.

How do we still view President Joe Biden and Citizen Trump as equal? How are we still comparing them and saying this is a choice between equally bad candidates? What happened to moral character?

There is more, there is so much more, but I think this is enough for today. As I said, it isn’t going to be pretty.

By the way, Citizen Trump is broke. Tomorrow we will find out just how broke. But the Lying out his azz Billionaire is broke.

Filed Under: Presidential Election 2024 Tagged With: current-events, Donald Trump, government, Joe Biden, Politics, Presidential Race, russia, Trump, Ukraine

What Fools We Are

March 10, 2024 by valentinelogar 4 Comments

I want to consider the United States of America a mostly intelligent nation with mostly kind and compassionate people. I want to, but these days it is difficult. I can’t watch and read the news and say, “Yes, look at all these kind, Christian, and intellectually honest people voicing their political views.” I am unable to listen to the candidates or public servants from the other side without becoming terrified by their rhetoric and thoughtless diatribes.

In 2015, a man rode down a gold escalator and announced his candidacy for the highest office in the land; we all laughed and thought he was a joke. Donald J. Trump had been a fraud, a thief, a womanizer, an adulterer, and a witless hanger-on in New York high society for decades. He was also a known racist, a known misogynist, and a well-known friend to those with less-than-stellar character for most, if not all, of his adult life. This half-wit based his entire political strategy on two things: racism and his self-proclaimed business savvy, one a proven truth and the other a proven lie. Let’s take a quick look at the foundation of this fraud:

In 1973, the Trump organization was accused by the US Justice Department of racial discrimination, specifically against Black Americans trying to rent properties in their buildings. They settled, and as part of that settlement, they had to agree to change their policies.

In 1989 Trump called for the Death Penalty on the Central Park Five, five teenage Black and Latino youths accused of raping a young woman who were later exonerated. He took out full-page ads and gave interviews during this time.

From 2011 to 2016, Trump pushed the Birther conspiracy about Barack Obama and combined this with the complete fabrication of whether then-President Obama was Christian or not.

In 1990, Fred Trump (his father) bought $3 million in Trump Castle casino chips so Donald could pay interest on his loans. This was later judged to be an illegal loan, and Donald had to pay $65,000 in fines to New Jersey.

1991, Trump Taj Mahal files for bankruptcy relief.

1992, Trump Plaza Hotel files for bankruptcy relief.

Trump forms the Trump Hotel and Casino Resorts as a publicly traded company, retaining 56% of stock. Despite reorganization, the company failed to turn a profit and filed for bankruptcy relief in 2004, 2009, and 2014.

This barely scratches the surface of Trump’s failures and scams.

Trump University. Sued by the State of New York. Settled for $25 million without admitting guilt or malfeasance.

But back to his 2015 announcement, it was full of racist rhetoric, but we should have seen it coming based on his history. We should have also believed him, but we laughed and dismissed him. His announcement was full of braggadocio, and his business acumen and success were a centerpiece. If we hadn’t been so busy laughing at the fool before us, perhaps we wouldn’t be where we are today.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Dr. Maya Angelo

I would like to think America is better than this, but we are proving every day we are not. We have a third-rate backbencher as the Speaker of the House. Our allies are terrified we will leave them at the mercy of Russia and Putin. We have a narcissist, would-be dictator as the third-time GOP presidential candidate who would rather play politics with national security and hopes for an economic crash because it would be good for him. The GOP in Congress has made clear they are nothing more than the support arm of the Trump campaign, installing a MAGA election denier as Chair and the daughter-in-law of twice impeached ex-president as co-chair who together have already said they will funnel funds toward legal fees and ‘poll watchers’ rather than down-ballot candidates.

The halls of Congress echo with songs of praise and hallelujahs for the Orange Jesus that will lead them into the failed nation they claim is already here. The cult of White Grievance, White Nationalism, and White Evangelism is here, and it is led by a man who never once in his life cracked open a Bible, never once met a sin he didn’t want to commit, and never once met a Commandment he didn’t break.

So here we are. We have the two oldest presidential candidates running in the history of this nation. We have voters who wish it were otherwise and are thus unenthusiastic about the Democrat and looking at the Republican as if he might be a viable option. We have an uninformed, under-educated, conspiracy-believing nation full of half-witted bigots who have either forgotten or simply do not care what the first Presidency of Donald J. Trump was and are willing to drink the Kool-Aide of a media bent on destroying this nation as we know it. But let’s take a short trip down memory lane, shall we? This is what happened during the 4 years of the first Trump Administration.

Dropped the corporate tax rate from 35% to 21% and created additional tax breaks for the wealthy, more of that trickle-down theory. End result? $7 Trillion was added to the national debt.
Multiple trade wars started with China and other nations, resulting in tariffs trickling down to the consumer. Do you wonder why prices are still high? In part, it is because wholesalers and retailers continue to charge the same price despite no longer absorbing the tariffs.
The tragedy of the coronavirus was worldwide, but focusing on this nation is important because we had a President who knew how dangerous it was and didn’t just downplay the danger but politicized it.
- More than 1 million dead Americans
- More than one-third of small businesses closed during Covid.
- The average unemployment rate 13%. This is misleading, though it was much higher in some industries, reaching above 20%, and in many cases, these jobs have still not recovered.
- Schools closed, and children falling behind socially and educationally.
- In some cities, hospitals and morgues out of capacity.
  - Refrigeration trucks used to store the dead.
  - The sick in hallways being cared for by doctors and nurses, unable to return to their homes for fear they might infect their families.
  - Experts demonized while politicians, including the President, suggested bizarre and dangerous options for cures.
  - The mental health of the entire nation was jeopardized by isolation, joblessness, homelessness, and the loss of loved ones without proper goodbyes.
  - Supply chains were disrupted, creating empty shelves of essentials, and social media showed daily fights in the aisles for toilet paper, diapers, and baby formula.
    - These are just the highlights, and yet, the cult wants to return this nation to this. Somehow, whether the man in the street or the elected official thinks this was the golden age we should be pining for.

I watched the State of the Union President Joe Biden delivered this week and was proud that he was this nation’s President. I was happy to think there was a man in the White House who cared more for this nation than he did for his own enrichment.

Is he old? Is his walk a bit slower? Does he stutter? Yes, to all of that.

Has he and his administration brought us back from the brink of disaster? Yes, to that as well.

When you consider the alternative between the two candidates, remember this; one gives a shit about this country and our standing in the world, about the people of this nation, about the Constitution and what it means, about our Democratic Republic and how we continue to grow great, about the American Dream and how we can all reach it.

The other, well, he sees us as a failed nation ripe for the picking.

Filed Under: Presidential Election 2024 Tagged With: current-events, Donald Trump, Election, government, Joe Biden, news, Politics, Presidential Race, Trump

Time and Again, What’s in it for us

January 31, 2024 by valentinelogar 3 Comments

Now y’all know I love politics. The push and pull of the election season is exciting, most of the time. But this year, damn, it just feels nasty, like someone has taken a bucket of slime and poured it over the entire United States. The stench of ugly is permeating everything and everywhere. It is gangrene on a national level.

Let me say this as nicely as possible before diving into the obvious horror story of the 2024 presidential election year.

I wish Joe Biden would have stuck to his original plan of being a one-term president. This isn’t about his age, though he is indeed old. Let’s all acknowledge he is 81 years old; if he wins in 2024, he will be 82 when he is sworn in and 86 when he finishes his second term. This isn’t ageism talking; this is pure reality; the Presidency is one of the most demanding jobs in the world; it requires mental agility and physical stamina. For his age, Joe is doing well; nevertheless, he is 42 years older than the average American citizen. Yes, I know his experience benefits all of us, which has been proven through this administration. However, with clear sight, his age is a detriment as much as a benefit. He will continue to age, and he will continue to slow down; this is not ageism; it is simply the reality of the human condition, and we need to acknowledge he, and we put this nation at risk by placing him back in office.

The Presidency ages everyone who has ever taken on the job, with one exception, 45; he didn’t age because he didn’t take the job seriously. The Presidency was simply another one of his cons, another way for him to add to his personal coffers both during and after his time in office. He didn’t age because he didn’t do the job the people elected him to do. The one thing we know about 45 is he is aging now; it is serious now, and the piper has come for his payment. His mental acuity is rapidly diminishing. He shows signs of being a person without a firm grasp of reality.

Let’s talk about the GOP, the Grand Old Party, the party of Law and Order, family values, small government, and all that jazz. Let’s talk about these men and women who sit in every seat of power across the land; and stir up controversy, pain, suffering, and dammit sedition. By God, how did we fall so far in such a short time? High School dropouts are walking the halls of Congress and calling themselves leaders. The highest court in the land rife with corruption and laughing as they strip millions of voting rights, body autonomy, and access to education without blinking an eye. The House is full of elected officials with only one agenda; to follow the leadership of a seditious lunatic who has publically stated he wants to see the economy fail and continued border disasters, all to ensure his election success.

We are living the new American Horror Story. A story where women are reduced back to chattel, and worse, all people who are not Heterosexual White Men (HWM) are reduced to “less than.” We are living a nightmare of raging culture wars where Mickey Mouse is an enemy of the people, Taylor Swift is a deep-state plant, and accurate history, along with any book written by or for people not (HWM), are banned from libraries across the nation.

We are living in a nightmare world where the leader of the once Grand Old Party, the party of Eisenhower and Lincoln, is a power-hungry, sexual deviant, with four (4) indictments encompassing ninety-one charges stemming from his criminal acts both while in office and after leaving office, and yet none of this seems to deter his followers one iota. His followers include both the unwashed, unschooled, and ignorant masses but also those who currently hold office in both the Senate and House and who continue to do his bidding. These sycophants who hold high office elected by the people, paid by the people to do the work of the people, and who continue to refuse to do a single thing but trail behind this lunatic would-be dictator, holding his drool cup and beg for the crumbs from his table.

What haven’t they done at the bidding of the outrageous conman who has thus far spent $50,000,000 of campaign funds on his personal legal fees?

They have refused to secure the border between Mexico and the United States. Their most significant complaint is their constant whine, their biggest battle cry. But no, they say we can’t do this today because the Great Orange Jesus says no.
They have refused aid to Ukraine, a nation that has fought hard to retain their own borders their own land, and preserve their democracy from the encroachment of Russia. With less than 5% of our massive defense budget, we can and must save them as we committed. But what does Mike Johnson say to this? NO, he has said with every vote he has cast prior to his elevation to the Speakership, just as the Orange Jesus has told him to do.
They have refused aid to Israel. Now, personally, I am genuinely on the fence with this one; on the one side of that fence is my belief that Israel does not require our financial support, nor does it deserve our support based on their current actions. On the other side of that fence is our national commitment to come to their aid when they are attacked, and there is no mistake; October 7 was an attack by a terrorist organization. On the other hand, Benjamin Netanyahu is a Right Wing nutjob who should not be supported in his stated plan to entirely eliminate the Gaza Strip and West Bank. Frankly, I don’t believe he is any better than 45 and should be treated as a toxic leader along with all of his sycophants. This is not a condemnation of Israel but of him.

What have they done? Nothing that benefits the American People, not one single, solitary thing to now.

Ah, Election Season. We are in for a ride. Are you afraid yet? I sure in the hell am.

Filed Under: Politics, Presidential Election 2024 Tagged With: Congress, current-events, Donald Trump, Elections, GOP, government, Joe Biden, news, Politics, Senate, Trump

New

January 26, 2024 by valentinelogar

That isn’t what you think it is, that tensing of my muscles

When my eyes suddenly fly open in the middle of your kiss

No, that isn’t what you think it is, not at all

Don’t misunderstand, I love the feel of you near me

My knees dip when you lay your hands just so, yes, right there

You already found one of my spots, I like that you go back to it

Sometimes, in the middle of the day, I have salacious thoughts

Believe me when I tell you, mine are better than yours

The thing is, we are too new, too fresh, and I don’t want us to be too fast

You are the first, in a very long time, I might want more

My mind leads me down roads I did not think I belonged on

With you, I bite my tongue to prevent myself from asking

“What do you want, beyond this touch, this kiss, this..”

Afraid the answer will be, “Nothing more just this,”

And just this will be enough for now because I love the way you go back

You explore my spots; you are not afraid of my battle scars

You touch me, and, with a kiss, cause me to grow weak-kneed

I can sit in silence with you and don’t have to fill the air with noise

I can tell you my darkness, and know you won’t use it against me

So that tensing you feel as I grab that bar, that is my flight or fight kicking in

That is my drawbridge demanding to be raised

That is my moat trying to flood itself with monsters

That is me questioning just how the hell you got under my skin and into my heart

With a touch, a kiss, a smile, and comfortable silence

1/26/2024

Filed Under: Poetry Tagged With: Art of Living, New Love, Poetry

Define Humanity

January 20, 2024 by valentinelogar

What do you think gives us our “humanity?” Do you think it is our ability to use tools? Or perhaps it is our mathematical comprehension and ability to use logic and solve complex problems. Some would tell you it is our social organization and ability to work together. While others are convinced, it is our spiritual curiosity. Finally, there are those who would tell you unequivocally that the basis of humanity is our self-awareness.

I would argue that we are simply searching for ways to set ourselves apart and make ourselves better or on a higher rung on the ladder than other creatures inhabiting Earth.

We think very highly of ourselves, don’t we?

We use tools, as do Chimpanzees and many other members of the ape family. We simply took it a step further. Why? Because we were unable to survive without protection and thus had to create habitable conditions to preserve ourselves. Of course, given our rather aggressive nature, we also rather rapidly created weapons to ensure we could kill not just our food but others that looked slightly different; thus, murder and mayhem very rapidly ensued.

Humans have been, it seems, murderous and ‘eat our own’ species from the very beginning.

So, this leads me back to what defines us, specifically what separates us from other animals and makes us ‘human.’

We organize ourselves into ‘tribes’ and give ourselves rules to create socially acceptable conditions for our tribes to grow and thrive. Usually, these rules are constructed around “Gods” and religions, which men conveniently translate into laws for the masses. There is always a hierarchy within these religions: men who know all the rules and gather all the wealth for themselves. Within the hierarchy, there is always an enemy: the non-believer, the unrighteous, the weak, and those the believer could justify making war upon and enslaving at will.

Before we could make war, before we could enslave, before we could commit any atrocity, including rape, or murder for the amusement of the masses though we had to dehumanize the ‘other.’ We had to be convinced our ‘enemy’ was less human than us. We had to name them less than us and diminish them. We had to strip them of the essence of their humanity to enable and validate our cruelties.

This cycle has been pursued by the tribes of man since we have walked upright. We have certainly refined our cruelties; we have sought out different victims over the eons of man. Would it surprise you to know the word Slave has Slavic origins? Over time, as those boys over there in Europe became less pagan, well, they took a dislike to the enslavement of their own, meaning White Christians, so they had to search further afield for free backbreaking labor.

Again, I must ask what causes us to believe we hold some special place on the evolutionary ladder.

The atrocities we commit upon our fellow human beings are beyond the pale. Murder, mayhem in the name of what? Religion, state security, power, racial purity, borders, political ideology; all of it is incredibly ignorant. Honestly, what it boils down to is fear. Are we not so far up the ladder from the animals we pretend to be ‘better than’? We measure ourselves on dominance, not compassion, not empathy, but pure dominance.

We are nothing more than hairless apes with better and far more destructive tools. I frankly fear where this ends. As so many throw out even the façade of being enlightened, following the teachings of a faith that proposes kindness and loving others. We descend into the madness of pure anarchy and a return to the days when none were safe; I fear for all of us.

So finally, I return to my original question. what is humanity?

Filed Under: Sociology & Evolution Tagged With: freedom, Justice, life, Modern Age, philosophy, psychology, Religion, Society

Shadows and Resolutions

January 1, 2024 by valentinelogar

I have not made New Year resolutions in decades. They are a form of self-flagellation in which I find little purpose and much to be afraid. What possesses any of us to sit down at the end of each year and make a list of all our ‘failures’ and then make a list of all we will do ‘better’? Really, are we demented? Or maybe we are simply defeatists at heart.

I say this, especially to women: our lists are long and weighty. Our lists are driven by social media and all the faults we find with ourselves daily in the mirror, storefronts we walk by, and catalogs that don’t carry our size. For some reason, our lists always start there, in the feckin’ mirror:

Our hips are too wide;
Our asses are too big;
Our stomachs are too flabby;
Our tits fell another inch;
Our thighs touch instead of gap;
Our arms jiggle;
Our necks, oh shit, our necks aren’t smooth, and neither are our faces anymore.

Our friends don’t help; they have the latest diet locked down and don’t see any harm in telling us that if we would only buy their products, maybe we could lose weight and be beautiful again. The worst thing is, we think perhaps they are right, maybe we could. Or maybe they could STFU and remind themselves they are as imperfect as we are.

Then there is that shadow in the mirror that reminds us of all our failed relationships, friendships lost, marriages ruined, lovers in the wind, jobs vanished. It is impossible not to look. Impossible not to lift the covers and ask, what could I have done to change the outcome? The shadow of unbearable bullshit stares at you, and the blame game begins, the coulda, shoulda, woulda;

I could have said yes, even if it meant I was unheard;
I could have spoken up, even if it meant a fight;
I could have not held everything so close;
I should have listened more;
I should have fought for balance between us;
I should have told someone;
I wouldn’t have been less if I wasn’t so afraid;
I wouldn’t have been afraid if I didn’t see myself as unworthy.

You see? Self-flagellation.

Before you can write a resolution, you must look into that mirror and tell yourself what you want that is different from what you have today. Specifically, you have to own your own shit.

What do I want that is different than what I have? Honestly? I am entirely uncertain that I can affect what I want at this point in my life. I think the things I want, the things I believed would make me happy or contented in life, are no longer aligned with my personality dysfunction.

It took a lifetime to get to where I am, to this place of quirks, quiet, heartbreak, and strength. A lifetime of pain, fear, aloneness, and sometimes unremitting loneliness. It took a lifetime of giving everything I had to everyone else, only to be told it, and I was not enough. It took husbands and lovers leaving. It took parents turning their backs in my darkest hours. It took days of never hearing another human voice. It took friends forgetting me, it took siblings turning away.

All of these losses taught me the power of love.

That love was unending, that heartbreak and loss doesn’t stop you from loving those who hurt you. That love simply teaches you how much you can endure and how powerful silence can be. The other lesson is how hard even the softest heart can become if it is hurt often enough.

You see? Self-flagellation.

That mirror shows what is not within your reach. In the silence of my prayers I often ask for grace. I think, though, that I what I seek is something different than grace. It is more, that I don’t hate myself for all my mistakes, for the things I could have done differently, for the secrets I could have told and choose not to. I know that too frequently, I put myself in the way to be hurt as retribution for the wrong I believed I did. In retrospect, I didn’t deserve that, yet I did it anyway at great expense to an already savaged spirit.

So now, though I will not call it a resolution this year, I will spend some small part of the year stitching together some of my heart with stronger threads than I have used in the past. I won’t say it will make me a better person, more loving or kind. I won’t promise that this attempt to heal myself more fully will allow me to find and be loved by another person as I wish; honestly, I believe that ship sailed a decade ago. But perhaps by looking into those shadows without self-flagellation, I will find the pieces that still need healing and will be better able to live the life I have more fully.