Too Much

The other side of the bed is always empty

‘I could sleep there, stretch my legs or arms

Roll over and rest my head

I could touch all the corners

The entire bed is mine every night

But instead, the other side is always empty

For a minute, in a lifetime of hours you were there

Then without a word, a breath of goodbye

The ribbons of silk binding me to the center

Loosened, fell away and I returned to the edge

Now the other side of the bed is always empty

I don’t think it was meant to be

Only that I don’t know how to bind myself

I remain unbound and on the edge

Where I can easily escape slipknots

So even a whispered goodbye or hello

Would remain unheard, in a lifetime of hours

Where a minute wouldn’t matter, and the other side is always empty

3/27/2024

Your Mama

Yes, I said I would come back to talk about dates. It took me a bit because I have been out on a few. I had a couple of first dates, a couple of second dates. I even had a short courtship that I thought was promising but turned out to be smoke and mirrors. What the hell is wrong with men of a certain age, I have to ask this question. What in the hell is wrong with any of us for that matter.

Women, many of us anyway still dream of finding that partner who will walk with us through the remainder of our days. Men, they apparently still only want the superficial, the short-term, or the not so much.

So let me tell you about these men, of a certain age. These sort of dates, this sort of courtship. Shams and silliness. I am discouraged and disappointed in the quality, the ethics, the standards, and values of the men I have met so far. Perhaps they would say the same of me, who knows.

The difference, in my humble opinion; I am transparent in my wants, desires, expectations, and most specifically who and what I am. The same cannot be said of any of the men I have thus far met, dated, or been ‘courted’ by.  I am disappointed that there are not more men who have reached this age capable of adult behavior, conversation, and sustained actions that match the lip service they pay to get what they want.

In a word, I am disappointed there are not more grown assed men in this great big world. Ten years ago, just before my divorce was final, I wrote about what I wanted from the next man in my life, what he was, who he needed to be. I went back to read those two posts, oddly my mystery man hasn’t changed over this past decade. Unfortunately, he remains in the shadow of my mind, quite possibly only a dream.

All I can say to these others, these posers who claim to be grown; your mama’s did not raise you right and your daddy’s surely gave you no direction in what to do when you find yourself in the company of a grown assed woman.

Date One: First, we had to get through his food issues. Then we had to get through planning, yeah, ultimately, I had to find a restaurant that served food he could / would eat (Strike One). Then, he was late by more than 20 minutes despite it being local (Strike Two). Now, it was a casual place, but showing up in raggedy jeans, a Cowboy’s jersey, and not one, not two but three great big metal chains with crosses hanging on your neck, along with a cap on your head that you don’t remove when you sit down; you really haven’t got it together (Strike Four). Finally, when the food is brought out my date tells me he needs to pray before eating, okay; but do you need to pray aloud for three minutes so diners all around us can hear you make a spectacle of yourself and while you are at it, me? When the waiter comes over to fill our glasses, Date One looks me dead in the eye and asks, “you don’t mind if we go Dutch, right?” Oh, hell no I don’t mind; in fact, I insist if it will get me out of here any quicker (Strike Five and Six).

Date Two: After several conversations we decided to meet for lunch. I explained I can’t drive at night, so we agreed on a Saturday and a town between us. He lives southeast of Dallas, and I live northwest. This time I was happy to choose as he was newer to the area. This time we agreed up front to a Dutch date as I wanted to go somewhere a bit more expensive, one of my favorite places. According to his profile and our conversations he had relocated for a job with a local school district. So off we go. I waited for 30 minutes (He was late), when he finally arrived instead of asking at the front, he wandered around looking for me until the waiter took pity and figured out he was likely looking for me (Strike One).  He blamed traffic, I knew where he was coming from and had checked so knew he lied (Strike Two). During the course of our conversation, he admitted he had lost his job in Chicago and had come to Dallas because his brother offered him a place to live, though he did work for a school district it was as a driver not a job he relocated for (Strike Three). His manners were atrocious, and he was incapable of holding a conversation beyond gossiping about his own family members, especially the brother who was kind enough to put a roof over his head (Strike Four). He told me what a great lover he was and that I should invite him over that day to try him out (Strike Five). I couldn’t wait to finish my meal with a to-go box, pay my side of the bill and run like hell.

Well, my darlings that is enough of shenanigans for now. I will get to the one who called himself courting me in the next post. That is a story worthy of its own post.

I think I might be destined to live my life alone if this is what is out there to choose from. I am disheartened and sad that men of an age are still playing games and acting the fool. I would have thought by now they would have put this behind them, but I guess not. Maybe that Grown Assed Man isn’t out there at all, maybe he is only in my head.

Off to the Races

So, we now have our two candidates, a repeat of the 2020 Presidential Election, though it is not really.

Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr √

Donald John Trump √

Both of them are the oldest candidates ever to run for the Presidency of the United States.

Joe Biden at 81 √

Donald Trump at 77 √

One of them has eighty-eight criminal indictments as of today.

Donald Trump √

One has multiple civil cases where he has been found liable (guilty) and a debt of over half a billion dollars. In any sane world, this would make him ineligible for the presidency simply because it would make him a security risk.

Donald Trump √

That about sums up the difference between 2020 and 2024, though there is certainly more. Let’s dive into what this election season will look like; it will be long and ugly, of this I have no doubt.

I am astounded by the things said about President Joe Biden by the general public; it is as if they live in an alternate reality. This is not to say that I don’t think there are things he could be doing or could have done better. Nevertheless, to suggest that he has diminished our standing as a nation internationally, this is so ignorant on its face it is impossible for me to even understand.

Then we have the issues of the economy; I get it; many are working hard to make ends meet today, and it still feels like we are running on a treadmill. Under Joe Biden and his administration, we avoided a recession, rebuilt real economic growth, added more jobs, and our recovery outpaced every other Western economy globally. On the downside, housing remains high, groceries have not come down, and gas prices remain high despite our reserves and the fact that we are the largest exporter in the world today.

Let’s pick those two things apart for a minute. In recent polls, the unwashed masses thought Citizen Trump would outperform President Biden on Foreign Policy and the Economy. Not to dwell on this too much, but I think Citizen Trump recently invited Putin to do to NATO allies who didn’t pay their bills? That’s right, “to do whatever the hell you want.” Of course, this significantly distorts the NATO alliance as there are no bills to be paid. There is a guideline that 2% of GDP is spent on defense by each Allied Nation. One other salient fact, everything Citizen Trump has ever said about NATO is a lie, and the only time the NATO Treaty Article 5 has ever been acted on was when this nation was attacked on September 11. Every single NATO nation came to our aid.

There is a reason Ukraine is considered the Breadbasket of the world. Before Russia’s invasion, the nation could feed half a billion people with the crops they grew. The land is some of the most fertile on earth, ideally suited for grains, sunflowers, corn, and soybeans. Ukraine fed itself and exported across Europe, Egypt, Africa, Turkey, and China. With Russia’s invasion, not only has farming been stopped in much of the country, exports have obviously been stopped, causing a sharp rise in food prices worldwide and in some cases, food shortages.

Citizen Trump says, let Putin have it. Stop all aid to Ukraine. The House GOP says Okay.

President Biden, says give me an aide package. Support our Ally, as we promised we would. This is not just for Ukraine but for our National Security, and he is right. This is to prevent Putin from moving into a sovereign nation. This is to support an ally. This is to keep our standing in the world. We don’t provide money; we provide them with ordnance already in our stockpile and then make more, providing US jobs. We don’t provide boots on the ground, but if we don’t help Ukraine win this war, we might have to if Putin invades a NATO country.

As for the other, the economy itself? The fact that the people of this nation believe that Citizen Trump and the MAGA GOP would be better than President Joe Biden and his administration speaks volumes. It speaks to the pure simplemindedness of the populace, their willingness to be led by braggarts, their half-truths, and their myopic vision of recent history. Some of these foolish supporters of the MAGA way couldn’t buy toilet paper to wipe their own asses, but they think Citizen Trump has a better understanding of how to handle the national economy.

Let me provide a taste of some of the Poll comments taken recently in support of Citizen Trump:

“As a President, he did many good things for this country. An honest man.”

“He helped the US economy grow.”

“The people of the US were more united under Trump.”

“I think he did a lot for the United States he was good for our country.he is a good man. The country wasn’t in the trouble that it is in now, with gas, food housing, jobs, prices. Look how things are since he Left office.”

“Because he is very humble.”

“He loves America. Always putting America first.”

“He did alot of good for our Country in fighting for Constitutional rights, restoring our own independent energy resources, and getting rid of corruption [deep state], as much as he could.”

Those are just a few of the hundreds, and I can’t take credit for the grammar or spelling, nor did I attempt to clean them up. This, though, is the crazy we are faced with.

When you add the lunacy of a judiciary with jobs for life, many of whom were appointed by Citizen Trump during his time in the Oval Office, and a Supreme Court that appears to be circling the drain of judiciary restraint, what do we have to look forward to in this election cycle? One thing I can guarantee is that it will not be pretty.

Despite the official nominations being months away, we have our candidates, and the campaign season has begun.

Vermin:

a: small common harmful or objectionable animals (such as lice or fleas) that are difficult to control

b: birds and mammals that prey on game

c: animals that at a particular time and place compete (as for food) with humans or domestic animals

This is how Citizen Trump refers to human beings trying to enter this country. He doesn’t differentiate between those entering by legal means from those entering illegally. His only real differentiation is that of those coming across the Southern Border. Now, the interesting thing is four (4) of his five (5) children are the children of immigrant mothers. Citizen Trump himself is the grandson of a draft-dodging, pimp who immigrated from Bavaria (Germany) and set up shop.

So, what is the difference between Citizen Trump and his immigration story? Let me see if I can find it …. pimps, draft dodgers, illegal immigration (Melania)… but, there you go, all of them are, well, what do you know, all of them are Caucasian.

Then you have the oh-so-wholesome and patriotic singing of the National Anthem at his rallies by convicted seditionists and White Supremacists, or as he likes to refer to them .. J6 Hostages. After declaring himself Dictator, He promised his first act will be to pardon all of them.

How do we still view President Joe Biden and Citizen Trump as equal? How are we still comparing them and saying this is a choice between equally bad candidates? What happened to moral character?

There is more, there is so much more, but I think this is enough for today. As I said, it isn’t going to be pretty.

By the way, Citizen Trump is broke. Tomorrow we will find out just how broke. But the Lying out his azz Billionaire is broke.

What Fools We Are

I want to consider the United States of America a mostly intelligent nation with mostly kind and compassionate people. I want to, but these days it is difficult. I can’t watch and read the news and say, “Yes, look at all these kind, Christian, and intellectually honest people voicing their political views.”  I am unable to listen to the candidates or public servants from the other side without becoming terrified by their rhetoric and thoughtless diatribes.

In 2015, a man rode down a gold escalator and announced his candidacy for the highest office in the land; we all laughed and thought he was a joke. Donald J. Trump had been a fraud, a thief, a womanizer, an adulterer, and a witless hanger-on in New York high society for decades. He was also a known racist, a known misogynist, and a well-known friend to those with less-than-stellar character for most, if not all, of his adult life. This half-wit based his entire political strategy on two things: racism and his self-proclaimed business savvy, one a proven truth and the other a proven lie. Let’s take a quick look at the foundation of this fraud:

In 1973, the Trump organization was accused by the US Justice Department of racial discrimination, specifically against Black Americans trying to rent properties in their buildings. They settled, and as part of that settlement, they had to agree to change their policies.

In 1989 Trump called for the Death Penalty on the Central Park Five, five teenage Black and Latino youths accused of raping a young woman who were later exonerated. He took out full-page ads and gave interviews during this time.

From 2011 to 2016, Trump pushed the Birther conspiracy about Barack Obama and combined this with the complete fabrication of whether then-President Obama was Christian or not.

In 1990, Fred Trump (his father) bought $3 million in Trump Castle casino chips so Donald could pay interest on his loans. This was later judged to be an illegal loan, and Donald had to pay $65,000 in fines to New Jersey.

1991, Trump Taj Mahal files for bankruptcy relief.

1992, Trump Plaza Hotel files for bankruptcy relief.

Trump forms the Trump Hotel and Casino Resorts as a publicly traded company, retaining 56% of stock. Despite reorganization, the company failed to turn a profit and filed for bankruptcy relief in 2004, 2009, and 2014.

This barely scratches the surface of Trump’s failures and scams.

Trump University. Sued by the State of New York. Settled for $25 million without admitting guilt or malfeasance.

But back to his 2015 announcement, it was full of racist rhetoric, but we should have seen it coming based on his history. We should have also believed him, but we laughed and dismissed him. His announcement was full of braggadocio, and his business acumen and success were a centerpiece. If we hadn’t been so busy laughing at the fool before us, perhaps we wouldn’t be where we are today.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Dr. Maya Angelo

I would like to think America is better than this, but we are proving every day we are not. We have a third-rate backbencher as the Speaker of the House. Our allies are terrified we will leave them at the mercy of Russia and Putin. We have a narcissist, would-be dictator as the third-time GOP presidential candidate who would rather play politics with national security and hopes for an economic crash because it would be good for him. The GOP in Congress has made clear they are nothing more than the support arm of the Trump campaign, installing a MAGA election denier as Chair and the daughter-in-law of twice impeached ex-president as co-chair who together have already said they will funnel funds toward legal fees and ‘poll watchers’ rather than down-ballot candidates.

The halls of Congress echo with songs of praise and hallelujahs for the Orange Jesus that will lead them into the failed nation they claim is already here. The cult of White Grievance, White Nationalism, and White Evangelism is here, and it is led by a man who never once in his life cracked open a Bible, never once met a sin he didn’t want to commit, and never once met a Commandment he didn’t break.

So here we are. We have the two oldest presidential candidates running in the history of this nation. We have voters who wish it were otherwise and are thus unenthusiastic about the Democrat and looking at the Republican as if he might be a viable option. We have an uninformed, under-educated, conspiracy-believing nation full of half-witted bigots who have either forgotten or simply do not care what the first Presidency of Donald J. Trump was and are willing to drink the Kool-Aide of a media bent on destroying this nation as we know it. But let’s take a short trip down memory lane, shall we? This is what happened during the 4 years of the first Trump Administration.

  • Dropped the corporate tax rate from 35% to 21% and created additional tax breaks for the wealthy, more of that trickle-down theory. End result? $7 Trillion was added to the national debt.
  • Multiple trade wars started with China and other nations, resulting in tariffs trickling down to the consumer. Do you wonder why prices are still high? In part, it is because wholesalers and retailers continue to charge the same price despite no longer absorbing the tariffs.
  • The tragedy of the coronavirus was worldwide, but focusing on this nation is important because we had a President who knew how dangerous it was and didn’t just downplay the danger but politicized it.
    • More than 1 million dead Americans
    • More than one-third of small businesses closed during Covid.
    • The average unemployment rate 13%. This is misleading, though it was much higher in some industries, reaching above 20%, and in many cases, these jobs have still not recovered.
    • Schools closed, and children falling behind socially and educationally.
    • In some cities, hospitals and morgues out of capacity.
      • Refrigeration trucks used to store the dead.
      • The sick in hallways being cared for by doctors and nurses, unable to return to their homes for fear they might infect their families.
      • Experts demonized while politicians, including the President, suggested bizarre and dangerous options for cures.
      • The mental health of the entire nation was jeopardized by isolation, joblessness, homelessness, and the loss of loved ones without proper goodbyes.
      • Supply chains were disrupted, creating empty shelves of essentials, and social media showed daily fights in the aisles for toilet paper, diapers, and baby formula.
        • These are just the highlights, and yet, the cult wants to return this nation to this. Somehow, whether the man in the street or the elected official thinks this was the golden age we should be pining for.

I watched the State of the Union President Joe Biden delivered this week and was proud that he was this nation’s President. I was happy to think there was a man in the White House who cared more for this nation than he did for his own enrichment.

Is he old? Is his walk a bit slower? Does he stutter? Yes, to all of that.

Has he and his administration brought us back from the brink of disaster? Yes, to that as well.

When you consider the alternative between the two candidates, remember this; one gives a shit about this country and our standing in the world, about the people of this nation, about the Constitution and what it means, about our Democratic Republic and how we continue to grow great, about the American Dream and how we can all reach it.

The other, well, he sees us as a failed nation ripe for the picking.