Silver Linings

One hell of a week, whether looking at my personal life or a week of news I can only say, “It was one hell of a week”.

I don’t know where to start; don’t even know what I think about this past week, turmoil was a theme, one I could certainly have done without. I suspect there are times I should toss plans aside, never mind those great thoughts I have and instead simply allow the world to spin me to the next adventure. This might truly be the easier strategy that is no strategy at all. Weeks like this do make me wonder though, wonder if my goals, wants and desires are simply unrealistic.

Do you ever think fate is a great and evil bitch with a nasty sense of humor? I think this quite often. I also think, more often than I care to admit that I am far too old for this, I need something more settled, more secure and less crisis based.

What has happened this past week that was a shot out of nowhere, unexpected and costly?

  • Husband’s car lost transmission, no not putting $4,000 into car. Buy new car. But wait this one isn’t paid off; still have three payments by my calculation. There is question as to what is still owed and the difference is $3,000. This is costly and we are still trying to get an answer from the other bank of why their records are off.
  • Current contract will likely be cancelled this week; this is only 6 months early. This is a big blow for me. While the client is a bit crazy, it is a good contract, interesting and fun. It is also the first time I haven’t traveled in 10 years, being able to drive to work instead of getting on a plane on Sunday is a huge benefit, one I took a rate cut to enjoy. The change in project strategy and leadership came as a surprise (though not a shock) and it is unlikely they will use me going forward.

So significant cash out of pocket right at a time when it is likely I will be taking an extended unplanned holiday. Nice, right?

Fate is a bitch.

This leads to how to achieve calm, peace or Zen in the face of the unknown or the unexpected. I have unfortunately had an inordinate amount of practice at this. My week ended with two great things, an early dinner with my sons, their partners, children and other parents on Saturday. Grounding me in family and love. Sunday was a long and leisurely swim, adding a new exercise to my routine.

These don’t lead specifically to calm or peace; they just remind me there is more to life. If I lose this contract, it will suck; yes, it will. But I have been through this before and will go through it many times more before I retire. My suitcases remain ready to roll through airports, my resume remains up-to-date and I have already upgraded my membership at Dice and Ladders. I have to remind myself, I signed up for this when I signed up to contract rather than work for others. Time to put my network to work for me.

If the contract is cancelled, I will take a couple of weeks of downtime while I look for the next one. There are certainly some things I would like to do before being sucked back into work!

There is always a silver lining.

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