What I Notice

The thing I notice most these days is the tribal nature of society. We are becoming more isolated, living more inside our own bubbles of belief and information. Each tribe refuses to hear, see, or speak to anything or anyone outside their tiny consortium. Each cohort demands others join them in a common cause or die in the fires that will burn when they ‘win.’

It is terrifying to watch this descent. Yet, it is even more horrifying to think that most of us participated in this outcome through our silence or active engagement. Depending on which side of the imaginary wall you stand, we all have some culpability in the state of our nation and society today. Isn’t it amazing? Those innocuous things, initially whispered from the fringes of the far Right or far Left, can no longer be ignored. What we once thought of as ‘those’ people over there; they are ‘us’ in too many cases.

Consider the changes in our lexicon and what they mean in public and private forums.

The above are just some strange words we have accepted as normal, sometimes without understanding their origin or meaning. There are, of course, many more. Some I refuse to add here because they are nothing more than dog whistles and ugly. Some are entirely ignorant, primarily used only in political speech to gain traction within small segments of society, and are unworthy of notice unless you live within those bubbles.

What I notice, we are changing the lexicon to fit a new mode of communication and how we relate to each other in our everyday lives. We create language by giving bad behavior ‘pretty’ or innocuous names. Words often become weapons to disparage entire communities or our political rivals. Every time we do this, we throw up walls preventing us from listening to each other or finding common ground to stand on.

We “catch” feelings. Sounds like we are out at the park throwing a ball. But that isn’t at all what it means. What it means, in truth, is that grown people have begun to care for someone, maybe love someone. What it means is they weren’t expecting it. The ‘caught’ feelings sort of like catching a disease.

We “ghost” someone. Grown people can no longer look each other in the eye and say this isn’t working for me; instead, they “Ghost.” This means they disappear, leaving the other person wondering what went wrong, what they did wrong. What the hell is wrong with people today? Cowards, heartless and without empathy or compassion, these grown folk simply walk away and disappear without a word. Whether it is after a first date, or months of a relationship, Ghosting is a common phenomenon in today’s world of supposedly adult dating. So now we have added “Ghosting” to our lexicon rather than calling it what it is; Cowardly, Craven, Weak, Spinless, Lowlife, Mannerless, and Mean.

I could go on and on about some of this, but I will stop with one that I believe gave us the mess we are in today. Cancel Culture. That’s right; we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the idea that no one should have an opinion outside of the “acceptable” box. I am not saying that some things shouldn’t be called out; they should be. I am not saying that some things aren’t despicable and ugly; they are, and we should hold people accountable. Nevertheless, we are a nation of millions, in fact, 341,432,270, with a median age of 38.1 years. That means there are differing opinions about nearly everything, even if they aren’t expressed. The truth? We are damned mean to each other when we express our views outside of acceptable boundaries or our tribe’s acceptable boxes. What do we do? We Cancel that person, that business, or that thing. We make them pariahs within society; we banish them. Not because they have committed murder, pedophilia, genocide, or rape no, not because of any of these terrible crimes. We cancel them because we disagree and convince others they deserve to be stripped of their businesses, livelihood, reputation, and even their very humanity because we don’t like their opinion.

Please don’t mistake me; there are times when this is absolutely fair. But there are other times when it goes too far. When we go too far and refuse to understand both sides of an argument, respecting another person’s Right to speak or act in the same way we demand our Right to speak is both hypocritical and petty. There has to be a middle ground where each side listens and even sometimes accepts uncomfortable truths, not because they agree, but because it is how society functions for all of us successfully. Sometimes, it is compromise; other times, it is by acceptance of another person’s Right to live outside of our own ‘truth’ without being battered.

I love words; I love how they change over time to encompass social and generational changes. I am fascinated by the idea that we can embrace cultural shifts without even realizing we are doing so. Nevertheless, what we are seeing today, in so many states across this beautiful and distinct nation of ours, is the stripping of our history, the erasure of diversity, the very thing that makes us great.

If we aren’t careful, if we don’t stand up for every American and for our Democratic Republic in November with our vote for Democracy, we will lose more than the Right to disagree. Don’t sit on your couch this November. Don’t take a pass because you hate both candidates. Don’t vote third-party in protest. Vote because your future depends on it.