Flash: Waitress

The fans swirled overhead, yet the air was overheated. She felt desiccated, confused by her presence in the diner straight from a bad 50’s movie. Looking in the window, she saw herself a vision straight from pinup art.

“What the hell, “she thought, “you would never catch me dead in this get up.”

Suddenly the door swung open and with the tall man who came through the door came an underlying scent of rotten eggs.

“Waitress, coffee dammit!”

She looked again, noticed the tail twitching beneath the long coat.

“Oh, no. I am a waitress in Hell.”

 FlashinthePan

Flash in the Pan is brought to you by the amazing Red of M3 fame

This week’s word is Waitress. The word limit is 100 words. This one comes in at 97.

Hashtags: #flashfiction #getpublished with @RedmundPro

This is dedicated to all those people in the service industry who believe they are doing you a favor by waiting on you, answering your questions, answering the phone, bringing your food, taking your order or any of the other sundry things they are paid to do. Yes, I know there are many in the service industry that do a great job, unfortunately there are far too many who do not. 

Comments

  1. Giggling here Val, me thinks you have been drooling too long on the werewolf portrait over at Andro’s LOL.. 🙂 😉
    Not at all the ending I expected.. Clever girl! 🙂

  2. SMILING :))) XXxxxx

  3. Fun story … with all your fun stories, you’ve finally convinced me … I just wrote my own “Coffee” story …

  4. Loved the twist; very dark

  5. Dang … how did I miss this one!

  6. Hi Val,

    You possess great creativity and a lovely writing style. These two together would make you a winner if you are not one already!

    Coming back to your post, do I sense an underlying apprehension that the protagonist has and how do you propose to build on that?

    Shakti

  7. I love the variety of your work, Valentine. You’re truly talented. =)

  8. You weaved several themes into this, Val – I see this sun bursting into so many directions – if you chose to continue….

    Good one,
    Eric

  9. From the peanut gallery, someone yelled, “Make sure he keeps that coat on.” OMG, that’s what I hope too.

    Whew. This is juicy, Valentine. I LIKE this.

  10. That would be anyone’s bad dream.

  11. Do you get the feeling this may be the story of your life? Slaving over hot microwave ovens for people who just don’t appreciate you?

  12. Am I wrong but is everyone around me adding the darker stuff while I am busy adding romance, wow you are brilliant at these dark flashes Val and I will be looking out for more of the same, well only if you want to of course? 😉 🙂

    Have a funtastic rest of
    Wednesday my great friend 🙂

    Andro xxxx

    • We all must step out of our comfort zone. Thus, you to the romantic side and me to the dark side. Or is this simply showing our true natures?

      😉

      • I think you are definitely wicked,
        and naughty too, oh and a bit on
        the dark side also, which blends
        all of the above into a wonderful
        woman that I know as my great
        friend Val 🙂 😉

        Have a lovely Thursday my dear 🙂

        Andro xxxx

  13. Love the dedication also!! I love this one. I wonder if they can all work the swing shift… Bwahahaha!

  14. Great! I just want to make sure I don’t end up being the DINER in hell, waiting for all eternity for that cup of coffee.

  15. AH!! LOVE it! Totally made me smile…good stuff…good stuff!

  16. Well, if he opens his coat she could always serve him iced coffee.

  17. Terrific!

  18. hey Val. That was very cool. Really cool.

    • I do try to take casual walks on heated paths now and again.

      • Val you never run out do you.

      • Val I was having the worst day today. I was by myself in hardware all day. I walked off the sales floor because i just needed a minute. I put my face in my hands asking how can I do 2 more hours.

        That was the very moment that you clicked on the post comment button. My Ipod chimed indicating a word press comment. I swear I said “VAL” I looked and behold it was you.

        That is how i did the last two hours Val. Thanks so much. You just never know how a comment will effect the recipient. I couldn’t wait to get home and share that with you.

        • I am glad your day got a bit better, you know though days go up and down. We sometimes go with them, up and down that is. I know how this is.

          The flash is sometimes hard to comment on, you should never be disappointed about your own comments, never. I enjoy them. I enjoy our banter.

      • Val I am dissapointed in my first comment. on this post. I did not want to give it away. so I am always wary of what comment I leave

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