If We Were Having Coffee-Dang

imagesIf we were having coffee I might spike my own but politely ask if you would like me to spike yours. I am good like that. It has been one hell of a summer, I mean that on many levels. I am listening to music people have sent to me as we sip our spiked coffee and chat.

First, how have you been during my absence? Talk to me! I am certain there is much to catch up with in your life, I have been terribly remiss failing to read your words, talk to you and keep up. I have watched all of you, truly I have just failed to acknowledge your outpouring of thoughts on life and the world. For this I can only offer, I will try to do better and ask you to talk to me, before I ramble off into my own little world of chaos.

Before we get started, can I top you off? Well then, let me pour some more into both of our cups. I am tempted to switch to a nice tall Bloody Mary, I think we might both need one.

Last Monday was my fifty-ninth birthday. Yes, I am embarking on my sixtieth year on this earth. Most days I don’t feel that old. Truthfully, I can remember when I believed sixty was ancient, one foot in the grave and ready for the retirement home. Sixty years on earth? Good grief, my mother use to tell me if I kept it up I wouldn’t see past thirty. Do you think I lived this long to spite her?

If we were having coffee I would tell you what frightens me is the two candidates for President are not much older than me and I wonder if they should be running for President, I wonder if they aren’t too old for the office. Should we be demanding new standards for this critical office and all our other government officials, standards that include term limits, mandatory retirement ages and top ages at which a candidate can run for office. Am I being ageist? Yes, perhaps I am; nevertheless, when the Constitution was written Life Expectancy was significantly lower, as in thirty-six, living to the age of seventy and beyond was almost inconceivable, though a few did. I would like to call attention to the ages of those we call our Founding Fathers (and Mothers) who conceived of and fought for our liberty.


Well, I will tell you no matter who wins in November I am not leaving the country. I love America, I may hate the politics and the politicians. I may hate the state of the nation, our horrifying injustice and our failure to thrive across so many measurements. But truly, I love the dream that is America and believe in my heart we have the ability to do better. Our utter failure to even present acceptable candidates from which to choose is only one measurement of our failure, there are so many others; Donald and Hilary are simply the face of the lethargy and fear we feel right now.

If we were having coffee I would tell you I am finally working to complete the move into my new home. It has been challenging. Maybe I needed it to be challenging so I didn’t settle on ‘good enough’ but instead worked on the details, looked at the small things that would please me over time and spent my budget wisely, ensuring each expenditure was specific and exactly what I wanted. Every time I unlock the front door, I struggle with what is still needed before I will be happy, yet I sigh with relief knowing it is mine and an empty palate waiting my touch.

To say very little has gone right would be a vast understatement. This entire process has introduced me to a new level of patience, a new level of please just stop dancing on my last nerve, a brand new level of I will not kill a human being today. Yes, this move has taught me a great deal about myself, my desire for privacy, perfection, my own way and ultimately my willingness to bend where needed to achieve my goals.

When I started this hunt for new digs, I wanted a woman cave that encompassed an entire home with every room an extension of who I am. This was the first home I have purchased where there were no children, no husband nobody but me to consider in decorating, I wanted what I wanted; it was an act of pure selfishness an act of self-love. I perused real estate websites endlessly, I watched home improvement and remodeling shows for hours. With each marathon, I had a list of ‘love notes’ of things I wanted, things I loved. Additionally, I knew where I wanted to live; what city in the Metroplex even what zip code.


If we were having coffee I would tell you all those plans went to hell the minute I walked into the house I bought. It was a 1976 rambler that someone had partly flipped, badly. The Professional Inspector, well let’s say he should have his license examined he missed so many obvious things that are now costing me before I can even start on the fun stuff. Even as I work through problems, contractors are running away, or seeing a woman and giving me bad pricing. Things are going slow or at least not as planned. I thought I would have all my projects done before I moved in; that didn’t happen. Now, I am moving in two stages. This one is hard, but it will get done hell or high water. I had great help yesterday to empty a 10X20 storage unit out, now everything is stacked floor to ceiling in the back of the house as we couldn’t put anything on my newly finished stained concrete floors. I am still in my apartment till next week, I will have to figure out how to move my apartment at that time. Packing throughout the week then moving over the weekend, of course how to get that done without movers will be a different challenge. Budgets are now starting to get challenged!

This week I will be meeting with a new set of contractors, maybe I will finally find some who will paint and stuff. Wish me luck.

I you ready to put your feet up? I surely will be by the end of this coming Sunday. Wish me luck.


If we were having coffee




  1. A very belated Happy Birthday … embrace your journey to 60 and beyond! As for me, I was in Tuscany when you posted this …. and have recently turned key notifications back on. Just had to stop by to say hello. Hope all is well … and in the new digs! …. PS: Come Wednesday, no more election commercials!

    • Thank you Frank! Nice to read you. The house is coming along, though slowly. Everything is baby steps, even unpacking, gad.

      Trying hard to get back in the swing of things but without a functional office, well it is rough going.

  2. Oh, happy birthday, Val! What an adventure for you to be moving into a place of your own and can make it whatever you want. Wish we could all be there for a house warming party. Good luck on the contractors – we have had a few bad experiences too but keep the names of the good ones. All OK in this part of Texas so far. I have been posting less and trying to complete some fiction pieces. Ready for the election to be done but that is another story. All the best to you! Keep us posted! Hugs!

    • Thank you! I am having an intetesting time so far. No rush though, you know things will just go at the pace they go.

      I wish everyone could be here for a housewarming too. Wouldn’t that be fun?

  3. Dear Valentinelogar, Again Happy belated birthday. The house will be worth it when you finish working on it. There is nothing like opening that door to find yourself at home in your own oasis. You deserve no less. With warmest wishes, Gronda

    • Thanks! I know, I truly do know. I finding little bits of love here and there, then meh! But I know it will all be worth it in the end. I suspect it is simply the overwhelming stuff right now.

  4. Happy belated birthday, Val. Had I known I would have baked you a yummy chocolate cake. I’ve been away too. Just came back online last Friday and my visits will continue to be spotty for quite a while. Good to ‘see’ you. Sorry for all the difficulties with contractors. Soon, this too will pass. 🙂 ❤

  5. Happy Belated Birthday, Val!

  6. Happy Birthday, Val. I’m 59, too. The other day I was making political calls and kept thinking of 60 year olds as old, but then I had to readjust. Damn, I’m old too.

    Sorry for all the crap you’re dealing with in the move. Hope it all ends up being stunning.

    • How did we get this old without realizing it? Asking for a friend.

      I think all the crap might be threefold, more on this in a later post. Honestly though, it is a trial of patience, one that is very nearly worth it.

  7. Good luck in your new home. If I’d known you needed a home inspector, I could’ve recommended a very good one. Happy belated birthday.

  8. When something is worth having, it is worth waiting for, and I am sure by the end of everything you will be kicking your shoes off and taking that bloody Mary and sitting with your feet up. Taking in all of the alterations and the décor and playing your favourite music, saying Yes, I DID IT MY WAY..
    Great to know all is moving along nicely.. and yes there is Light at the end of every Tunnel.. 🙂
    LOVE and HUGs and welcome back to posting 😉 again…
    Sue ❤

  9. I love you, my darling Val.
    The world is BETTER, Sweeter, & MORE with you inside of it. xxxxxxx

  10. Val! First off, happy birthday! Second, congratulations on the new home. You will make it beautiful, in time. Third, I need a photo of you. You know what for. 😊

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