You are here: Home / Archives for Series: Dear God

Dear God X

December 22, 2022 by 4 Comments

Dear God, in the interest of not repeating myself and railing at you about the dead children and lunatics with guns, I skipped Uvalde. To not step on toes, you know, those over-the-top ones who claim to speak in the name of your Son, I also skipped Dodd and the devastation it has wrought across this nation on women and girls. I have kept my peace about some of the lunatics still inhabiting positions of power across this nation and wielding it to destroy the lives of those who are different. Haven’t we seen this before? You remember Germany, Russia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Rwanda, Cambodia, Darfur, and the first Ukraine, just in the last century. When we add the Slave Trade and North American Natives, God, we are not doing a very good job down here left to our own devices.

Dear God, how do you not look down and at least nudge folk a little tiny bit in the right direction? I have to ask, are you asleep or simply disinterested? Do you see what is happening, not just here but across the world, with the general movement toward the more ugly, hateful, and terrible that humanity brings to the table given even the slightest opportunity to show its ass. Do you see and say to yourself, “well, let’s just see how far they will go before I smite a few of them back onto the right and righteous path.”

Dear God, I know you must be busy though I am not certain about what these days other than the thousands showing up on your doorstep every day. Aren’t you just a bit weary of all the dead children? I know their parents would have preferred to keep them here, raise them up and watch whom they would become. Do you plan this to determine the worthiness of this world? Do you count the hairs upon the heads of the elders and the children who lay dead by violence and think, “Damned Shame that happened again.”

Dear God, we are led by charlatans, imposters, and Cons, many suited up every Sunday and professing to speak in your name from pulpits of mega-churches across the land. The things they say in your name should make your head swim; indeed, your greatest angel dances gleefully in Hell with all your inattention as he leads the faithless towards even worse malevolent acts every day. With each mass murder, as the bodies lie bleeding, unrecognizable from the destruction of the bullets shot from weapons meant for battlefields, these pretenders offer up “thoughts and prayers,” I can only wonder to whom; surely it can’t be you or your son.

 

Dear God, in a couple of days, we will celebrate the birth of your Son. For the believers, this is a day of great celebration. Many no longer believe because of the great evil done in your name. You have seemingly turned your back and left the world to its own ways; what could possibly go wrong? God, look through the eyes of those of us who still have a smidgen of hope, and see what we see:

  • A Black Man was recently stopped and harassed by the police in Michigan for looking at a White woman ‘wrong.’
  • Congress had to fight to pass a bill to respect marriage for Americans, whether Gay or Interracial, in America. Even in 2022, some people still believe others do not share the same rights as White Heterosexuals. Last I checked, God, you did not say a Blessed thing about Homosexuality; this bastardization of Leviticus is all in the filthy minds of White Male Preachers. I know you didn’t say a damned thing about the color of one’s skin being a deciding factor in love.
  • A few weeks ago, a nightclub was shot up because of its clientele; the worst part was that families were there to support friends and family members.
  • Across the nation, antisemitic rhetoric is on the rise leading to real threats to communities and places of worship. Remember the Camps across Europe and the millions who died because they, too, were Jews, it seems we are seeing this again, but now it is here in this country, this land of the free.
  • A young Black Man is shot in the street, walking to the grocery store, nothing more. The White Man who does this vicious and ugly act of violence isn’t charged with attempted murder or a Hate Crime. He is charged with Assault; you know God, they don’t want to overcharge this 56-year-old white man with the obvious crime, just in case.

Dear God, this is just the tip of the iceberg; come on, you count the hairs on my head, but you can’t count the intent of these murderers. You know all of this, as it happens, don’t you? You see the fuckery down here, and you know it is getting worse by the day. We have members of Congress armed and dangerous, bragging they wouldn’t have lost if they had planned the recent insurrection. We have wars inside our nation perpetrated on those who don’t look or pray the ‘right’ way. Every small step we took forward in the last one hundred years is being lost, stripped away by a small minority, and they do it under your banner. People are so afraid, and that fear is turning into hatred; soon, God, we will be a nation at war again, though it will be far worse this time, and the body count will be yours.

Dear God, it is time for you to act. Nothing big and flashy, but something. I am tired, and so are others. I worry about my friends visiting me. I worry my friends and those I love will eventually have to choose sides and will have to leave me behind simply because I don’t look like them. I don’t blame them; I hurt for them and for me. Dear God, it is time for you to step into this mess you have allowed to fester, it isn’t going to self-correct, and these monsters of self-righteousness believe they have you on their side in their hate and fear.

Dear God, I still have hope. There remain so many good people doing so much good in this world. There are still so many acts of kindness every single day. So much compassion, in this broken world. Don’t you hear the voices raised begging you to shine a light, send warmth to those in need, send healing to those hurting and broken?

Dear God, we are not yet entirely broken, but it is time to show yourself and remind those who speak in your name of the truth and the power of love.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , , , ,

Dear God IX

May 23, 2022 by

Dear God, have you seen the devastation? Have you heard your name called out in pain, fear, or the desolation of lost loved ones to terror and violence? Have you heard your name lifted in prayers for solace and aid in the face of great evil? Where in heavens name are you?

How do you continue to allow this horror show to continue in your name and do nothing to stop it? Is this a test of how long and how much people will take before turning away from you and toward something more substantial than future promises of salvation?

Dear God, have you noticed lately how the worst of us are using your name to do terrible acts of violence against the most vulnerable? Is this in your plan, and the rest of us are missing it? Should we be thanking you for the terrible lessons we are watching played out against those who simply wish for a seat at the table, a place within a society that has time and again rejected their humanity.   

Really, God, I am beginning to think you have forgotten the entire premise of Love and are simply letting humans run rampant down here on this little spec in the universe. Has something else caught your attention? Have you lost interest? Or have the unmitigated and unrelenting bombardment of hate-filled lies in your name finally been too much for even you?

Dear God, I know you have many things on your plate. Millions of prayers to answer, millions of things to answer every day. As it says in Matthew 10:

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.[b] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

So I understand; you are busying counting all those hairs and worrying about all those falling sparrows; you really can’t be bothered with what folks are doing down here to each other in your name. But God, are not all the bodies piling up deserving of a little tiny bit of your attention? You know, just a little bit?

Buffalo Shooting Victims

Dear God, there are ministers at the pulpit today preaching in your name and calling entire groups of people demons for voting contrary to their personal beliefs. This means all those in this nation who voted for a Democratic candidate in 2020 were described as Demons, God Haters, and non-Christian. These ministers, weekly stand in their pulpits and, in your name, demand those who disagree should be sent to Concentration Camps (remember the last time you allowed this to happen God). Do you forget your own words, the words of your Son that only you may name one a demon? Acts 19:

13 Then some of the itinerant Jewish exorcists undertook to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those who had evil spirits, saying, “I adjure you by the Jesus whom Paul proclaims.” 14 Seven sons of a Jewish high priest named Sceva were doing this. 15 But the evil spirit answered them, “Jesus I know, and Paul I recognize, but who are you?” 16 And the man in whom was the evil spirit leaped on them, mastered all[d] of them and overpowered them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded.

Klan Wedding, 1926

I am struck by those who are driving your narrative. I am discouraged by your seeming indifference to the corruption. Or have you decided to allow rebellion as part of the game? I must say, God, this game is horrible, and the victims are piling up. Do you meet them at the gate and apologize? Are you slapping on their wings and introducing them to the promised eternal life with a shrug of your shoulders and a dinner invitation? Are their ancestors there, or maybe their enemies are there with an act of contrition. Just a thought, God, some of those enemies probably should not be in White Robes; it would be a bit disconcerting to the newly arrived.

Dear God, isn’t it time for some smiting? You know, a lightning strike here or there might be in order right about now. Something very focused and specific would be helpful, I think. Those who spend their time lifting up your name are beginning to wonder where you are as those they love lay bleeding on the streets. It becomes more difficult to believe when the sanctity of church and home is invaded by weapons of violence, in your name, God. The prayer we lift to you for safety, peace, and a place at the table is seemingly ignored.

We are told to accept as our rights are stripped away, and our humanity trampled. We watch as lies are told night after night until they become the truth for countless of our fellow Americans, and we have no recourse, no voice to speak for us. God, I think you have turned your face from those who have been your most loyal servants, who have held up your name and shown your true spirit in the face of tremendous adversity.

Dear God, shouldn’t you be providing something more? Clearly, the thoughts and prayers of the adversary are unwelcome, and hopefully, you are not hearing them as sincere or legitimate. If you can’t separate the insincere thoughts and prayers of the enemy from the wails of the grieving families in churches across this nation, might I suggest a Cochlear Implant? Technology today has made great strides for the unhearing.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , , ,

Dear God VIII

March 20, 2022 by

Dear God, have you been watching? The general fuckery down here is something to behold, isn’t it? I know it has been quite some time since we last talked, but I thought we should have a quick chat. I think perhaps my quiet, private prayers may be getting lost in the cacophony sent to you from the podiums of Congress, the pulpits of the prayers for-profit and State Houses across this nation called “Thoughts and Prayers.” I am not certain where to start, there is so much to cover, and I need to push it from my heart to your plate. I know, truly that you have much to take care of so I will try not to take too much time and only pick the big stuff, but God, really it is getting bad, and you might want to consider a lightning bolt or two just to get folks attention.

Dear God, have you seen what your believers are doing? In your name no less. It is shameful and downright terrifying. No matter where we look these days it seems those who claim you as their own are the most self-righteous, the most unforgiving, the most judgmental, the most violent; they are everything that I would think would be anathema to you, to your word. But damned if I can tell by their activities and seemingly ongoing success in this world that this is true. Meantime, while they seemingly thrive, the rest of us suffer under their heel. So, God, where are you while those who claim your favor are acting like early pagans on the day of Moloch sacrifices. What more must happen before you start with some smiting, or at least some assistance for the rest of us?

Dear God, it goes from bad to worse. It seems we cannot control our worst impulses. Everything from petty theft to genocide is on the plate for our consumption through everyday media. What is even more disturbing, at least to my mind and broken heart, where there is a crime against humanity there is a master pardoner for the perpetrator and inevitably your word is part of their patter. I guess I am old enough now where I can remember when all of us, entire nations came together regarding certain behaviors, where we all believed some things were wrong by any standard. Now? Well, now not so much. Now, seventeen (17) school shootings across this nation before the end of March doesn’t even make a blip on the nightly news. These days, seventy-nine (79) mass shootings with a total loss of life of ninety (90) human beings doesn’t even merit a comment. Nevermind the madman who is raining down misery and missiles on an entire nation’s civilian population, killing innocents in his drive to annihilate those who will not bow to his dream of a new Imperial Russia. God, if you happened to miss it, this lunatic claims a close alliance to you and your word through the Russian Orthodox Church. Not to take you to task for your current inattention, but really Lord so many of the recent batch of the truly bad have held up your word as a shield and it is growing tiresome.

Dear God, I think perhaps I don’t fit anywhere any longer. As I grow older, I also question too much the thinking of those who I once allied with nearly as much as I do those who have always been on the other side of the debate. This disease of extremism is destroying us all, making us fearful to speak up and speak our mind on any subject. Reasoned debate is no longer possible, and the ridiculous must be accepted as the new normal no matter how it harms others. Cruelty seems to be an acceptable alternative to civility. Truthfully? There is so much nuanced ugly to the past five years, political correctness combined with the legislative rape of civil rights, including voting and women’s autonomy it is hard to know where to even start. But God, you cannot possibly have intended for us to walk back every single gain we made, did you look down and say, “Nah, this was too much let’s make them suffer.”

Dear God, I know you are busy and gave us that great gift of self-determination. Yet still, I would think just now and then you might want to take some of your children and nudge them, off a cliff might be good. A bit of discipline is not uncalled for in certain circumstances, even with self-determination. You and I know children without discipline become out of control, eventually turning delinquency and without correction into habitual criminality with no chance at redemption. Lord, I am afraid that is what we have today in this nation, and what is truly terrifying, they are concentrated in the halls of Congress, on the Bench of SCOTUS and scattered throughout the land, in legislative bodies simply working their evil, pursuing power with the thirst of a man who has walked across Death Valley without water to quench him.  

Dear God, I know you have a great deal to contend with. I am not without eyes to see. Human beings have generally screwed up the world. Every opportunity, we find a way to cheapen and destroy the gift you gave us, both for ourselves and the future. We are an unseemly and ungrateful lot. We are good at saying the words, “thoughts and prayers,” and other such nonsense. We are not so great at living by the words so many profess to believe in the book they use to batter others with. Day in and day out, your word, is used to abuse those who can least afford to give by those who have found a way to rob them of dignity, humanity, and a future. You must be tired of your creation by now. I am certain the angels must beg for reassignment when you tell them they are coming to earth, if even for a day. I know I would. But like Lot, I beg you to look down, I know there are still good people down here, maybe not saints but people who every single day do good and are worth saving, worthy of your blessing. Could you please just take a minute or two, send a message to all these terrible recalcitrant traitors of the people who deserve your concern and care. I am only asking for a strong message to steer them back to the path of the righteousness, you know maybe some focused bolts of lightning, thunderous messages of fury, specifically placed sinkholes might work.  Anything that will get their attention would likely go a very long way.

Thomas Massie (R-KY)
Rapheal (Ted) Cruz (R-TX)
Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA)
Madison Cawthorn (R-NC)
Lauren Boebert (R-CO)
Glenn Grothman (R-WI)
Dan Bishop (R-NC), DJ Trump
Andy Biggs (R-AZ)
Josh Hawley (R-MO)
Treacherous and Traitorous in their daily lives, starting here would be helpful Lord.
Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , , , , ,

Dear God VII

July 14, 2021 by

Dear God, hello, it’s me again. I know it has been a while since I have appealed to your better angels as they say. Really though, it is getting pretty terrible and terrifying down here. It is to the point where you can’t tell the good guys from the bad anymore, and even the pacifists are thinking about self-protection in the form of rocket launchers. Does this seem extreme? Are you thinking to yourself that I am hysterical? Have you looked down here recently? I mean, really taken a close look at the state of this once shining experiment of a nation.

Just think God, these nonsensical, ignoramuses call themselves your servants. If this is the truth I would suggest you have a really bad management policy. Really, first Lucifer and now this.

Dear God, don’t get me wrong, we were never perfect. We got so many things wrong for so very long, and as they say, the chickens are coming home to roost. The problem is, even as those chickens come home, even as they call out and demand better, a big part of the nation strikes back out of fear. But I will not talk to you about chickens; I need to tell you about people, humans, and the horror being wrought by your creations and against your creations.

Dear God, I know you see us and shake your head in disappointment. I would be throwing bombs at this point, massive ugly destructive bombs. Maybe you are; it is just a huge part of our population who are too myopic to see them for what they are. I have watched for forty (40) years as everything once considered of great value has been devalued beyond recognition. All we once turned away from has been uplifted, even idolized. Those who once were considered sideshows and unworthy of our attention or time now hold high office, preach from alters, or network ‘news’ desks nightly. We demonize what is good, even our founding principles, and hold up the criminal as worthy of adulation and emulation. We reward evil while crushing kindness, compassion, and those who question are demonized for their counter thinking.

Dear God, surely you see us and wonder at our use of the free will you have gifted us. Do you turn to Michael and say, “what did I do when I gave my greatest creation free will and intellect?” Does he answer you with a shake of his head and, “I told you so!”

Dear God, we are slowly dying down here. Our brethren are being murdered in the streets by police. Then insult to injury, their murders are replayed for our entertainment on what passes for the nightly news. Inattention, poverty, police violence, crime, inadequate healthcare, and a host of other socially violent acts are killing the rest as we watch. We did this. We founded this nation on a violent sin and perpetuated that iniquity through our laws and bad acts. This nation, founded on a promise, was in truth based on a lie. Maybe an unwitting lie, but nonetheless a lie, a lie that continues four hundred (400) years later. Knowing this, we compound the lie with half-truths, bigotry and jingoism. We are so intent on ignoring history and hard truths, we willingly place ourselves in prisons of ignorance and bind future generations to even further depravations.

  • By Thomas Rossiter, ca. 1860-70 Watercolor Courtesy of Independence Hall National Historical Park

Dear God, don’t you ever look down and simply want to smite entire swaths of this wholly corrupt and entirely ignorant nation? I know if I were sitting where you are, I would have a difficult time not throwing a few fireballs right about now. I get it, Lord, you didn’t actually write the book all these $2 preachers yell fire and damnation about from their Lear Jets and McLaren Elva’s. I know that book is the accumulation of eons of men’s ruminations of how best to engineer society to suit them. I even know, though you may be in there somewhere, it really has little to do with you and more to do with the evil men do to one another in their quest for power over each other. But really, come on, God, don’t you just want to fling one or two lightning bolts?

Dear God, one more thing, and then I will leave off for now except for my daily talks with you about all this terrible and terrifying. Can’t you please reach down and touch the hearts of those who claim alignment with you. They gather in one place much of the year; they call themselves leaders and have the power to change lives. These men and women, they are a constant boil on our national ass. They fan the flames and fail in their duty almost daily, yet claim you as their guiding light. The men and women of our political class, whether city, state, or federal; whether elected or appointed, have lost their way and failed in their duty. Too many have chosen a path that leads to our destruction, putting their own enrichment above all others.  Too many have agreed to a lie that will lead to division and ultimately greater human misery. Do you see it, God? Are you waiting for our implosion to see who is left standing?

Dear God, I know some of your misguided children keep saying we are a Christian Nation. You and I know this is a laughable claim, and we are not anywhere close to this, never have been. We both know this claim is made by those who have no clue what this means and would not want to live in the nation they claim we are. Logic has no place in discussion with these clueless illiterates. In their right hand, they scream Taliban when they see a woman in a Habib, oh my, the horror of it all. In their left hand, they cry, we are a Christian Nation; what do they think that would mean?  I would suggest, oh God, they refer to that Good Book and the six hundred laws contained within for how a Christian Nation would be ruled going forward. Someone should remind them, these cretins of ignorance, they live in a land of Freedom of and from Religion that happens to have a majority of Christians within it. However, this majority is slowly changing because of their immoral acts. The American Christian Taliban just needs a nudge, just a small one, so they can get back in their lane and leave the rest of us alone, get back to bothering you. Dear God, I am done for now. I am afraid for my nation, my friends and my family. I am constantly grateful you have kept those I love safe. I hope we live up to our potential; I pray, as always, we continue to seek reconciliation, truth, and peace. I am grateful for the gifts you grant me, and once again thank you for listening.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , , , ,

Dear God VI

December 12, 2020 by

sad-angel-1Dear God, it’s me again. I know it has been a few weeks, though I talk to you every single day. It seems there are more and more people in need of your attention, for succor, healing, help. I think you must have decided we are too needy, too loud and frankly too obnoxious, hypocritical and unworthy. Were I looking at things through your eyes, honestly, I would think the same thing. But God, I am pleading with you to turn around and reconsider your current indifference to our catastrophe.

Dear God, I am not angry. Well, perhaps a little bit angry, I will admit I try hard not to be. Every morning I wake from another restless night of tossing, turning and worry. Actually, not worry anymore it is now abject fear and night terrors, but no reason to quibble. I hurt everywhere and feel as if sleep has alluded me again. I try hard to remember to thank you for waking me, allowing me to see another day. I try hard to remember to write in my gratitude journal at least three things I am grateful for, even when gratitude is difficult to find. I do my morning absolutions before the day begins, reminding myself of the necessity though no one will see me, no one who will know if I skip a day. I do this not from habit but because I know these things will bring peace and give me a greater connection to the world beyond me, maybe even greater connection to you. But God, I have to tell you, with each passing day, it grows more difficult.

Dear God, I feel as if you want to bring us to the lowest point possible. I don’t know how much lower we can go. Is it that we rose so high? That as a nation, we were so arrogant, so prideful the fall is far? I know that it is terrifying and bruising for some of us as we fall along with the nation. Each day, there are so many of us that feel there is no further we can fall. Yet we wake in the morning knowing we have a bit further to go before hitting that lowermost rung and finally are at the bottom. We can see it, we might even be touching it, but we are not quite there yet. God, have you grown unsympathetic? I think you have; I think I would be too. But Lord, I look around me and all I see are the good falling with the bad, the innocent are suffering with the guilty.  Breadlines are growing, homelessness growing and children without access to schools growing—cities with escalations in violence, especially in homes and families losing everything trying to keep hearth and home intact for just one more day. God, can you hear their cries? Are you listening?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Dear God, we are dying. It cannot be said much more brutally than this, can it? We are dying. Not just the loss of life, but our souls are withering, and hate is becoming the currency of our people. Your ministers are trading on fear and fury from the pulpit. Our elected officials are riding herd on the ugliest of human emotions, fear, bigotry, greed, envy and pride all wrapped into the flag and what polite society calls Nationalism. God, many of us are terrified. The country we love is ripping apart, and with it, the safety of laws and norms long understood, as imperfect as they were are tearing at the seams.  We watch friends and family turn away from us; we watch as neighbors suddenly become strangers. It is a terrible and terrifying time and without your hand I don’t think we can come back from this precipice.

Dear God, it must be hard for you to turn away from the pain you hear in our lifted voices. It must be challenging to sort out what is real and what is simply the vainglorious chatter of those who use your name for their own purpose. I think you are more discerning and determined if we are so ignorant after all this time to follow the false prophets and preachers, we deserve what we get.  I don’t really blame you for settling back and letting us sort out this mess for ourselves; I think I would do the same. I wish there wasn’t such a 681Oakbluffpersonal price for me to pay; I wish I wasn’t on the brink of losing it all. I wish I could find the lesson in all of this for me personally; maybe I will eventually.

Dear God, I try to always keep my personal desires, needs and wants out of my prayers. Every single morning I try to remember those who are in greater need and lift them up. I want to remind you of those I care for who need your attention and give you their names so if you have a blink of an eye, they will be touched. This isn’t because I am unselfish, I am human God, and you and I know this well. I admit I am not always successful; throughout the day, I entreat you to please, let me find new work, let me save my home, and help me save myself. It seems these have gone unheard, you have another plan and I simply don’t see it yet. So as the new year approaches, I am preparing to sell my house and let those things that make it home go. God, you have given me great gifts over my lifetime; thank you.

Dear God, one more thing. Thank you for showing the scientists and the medical community the way toward the vaccine. It seems soon we will begin to slow this plague and relieve some of this nation’s terrible pain.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , ,

Dear God V

October 29, 2020 by

sad-angel-1Dear God, it’s me again and I have a small bone to pick with you this morning. I am certain you must be exhausted now with all the terrible down here, but if you could just take a minute or two, I think I can convince you we are worth saving. I know it seems as if we are intent upon our own destruction, determined to extinguish all that is good and raise up the worst within us. I look around and see this every single day. Nevertheless, I also see much that is good, much that is worthy of saving. I know, God, I know it is hard to forgive the terrible that lies within us, the horrible that continues to rise up and tear us apart, given even the smallest of openings. Yet, God, I believe there is so much that is good. If we simply crack that door, there will be a great awakening and the good will prevail.

Dear God, I am not saying that rising up will not be without pain and great upheaval. We are a nation founded on some terrible acts that, even today, we cannot bring ourselves to recognize and embrace as our real history. Many in this nation find it impossible to accept their ancestors’ acts, from genocide, slavery, Japanese internment, Jim Crow, Redlining, and all the other horrific crimes against humanity and nature. In stunning acts of ignorance and denial, entire swaths of our nation continue to worship at the feet of bronze statues of traitors and fly the flags of the losing side in a Civil War fought to preserve the enslavement of human beings.

Dear God, it is difficult sometimes to look at my fellow citizens with compassion. We need your help; we need your healing. No matter the outcome in a few days, angry people will likely take to the streets. This nation can’t take much more without implosion. Already armed citizens are claiming to be keeping the peace or supporting the police, depending on who you ask. Others march for peace, demanding an end to violence against their sons and daughters, and now they too are armed to protect themselves. God, we need peace and compassion; things are going badly down here.

Dear God, a pandemic sweeps our nation taking more of us each day and our leaders laugh at our sorrow. More of our families slip into poverty meme-the-invisibility-of-poverty-2every single day. Our leaders prance off on unearned and undeserved holiday, paid for by us. They laugh and joke at our misery, knowing they have created this maelstrom. Acts of brutality are committed in our streets, so many of us are numb. We turn away rather than be outraged; we blame the victim, searching for justification. We grow heartless because our leaders are heartless. We grow numb because we are full up and hopelessness seems to be all that is left for us.

Dear God, I want to believe we are not the terrible. We are not the White Supremacists, the Boogaloos, the Militants and Militias infecting our cities and our media today. I want to believe they are an aberration and will fade back into their hills, hollows and caves. But God, this time, I think it will take more; they are greater in number and have infiltrated all walks of life. We cannot ignore their toxicity; thinking they are not worthy of our attention, we turn a blind eye while they burn down our cities or plan government officials’ kidnapping and execution. They are the greatest danger to our recovery; they are the greatest danger to our children’s future. Our leaders create the great distraction pointing anywhere but there, to anything else but them despite their own Intelligence stating clearly this is the greatest threat.

Dear God, there is nothing down here that can’t be fixed with some willingness to reach across these great divides we have created. There is nothing we cannot repair; even the depth of the current divide can be bridged with perseverance and will. We are losing our perspective, God; we are losing sight of who we are and who we can be. We have failed our fellow citizens; our brothers and sisters are nearly lost to us due to our own acts of violence, whether direct or indirect. We have much to make up for.

Dear God, you probably think I am wearing rose-colored glasses with all my trying to convince you we can fix what has been so terribly broken. God, I shattered_glass_portraits_tbelieve there are enough good people, enough fair-minded people, enough willing people that with some time and focus, we can fix this and even make it better. I know we are terribly fragmented today; it seems we are almost irreparable in our brokenness. We chose the lines in the sand we have drawn that divide us today. We can choose to rub them out just as easily; it is a choice. It will only take a few to cross the great chasm of fury currently occupying our time, our minds and our hearts. This terrible fury taking over our nation is destroying us all.

Dear God, if you are there, touch enough of us and lift this fugue. Remind us the good we are capable of even as we remind ourselves of our imperfections and begin the work of building toward the promise of a better, more equal nation. God, I know how we got here. This wreckage is forty years of concerted effort, planning and nearly perfect execution to create an illiterate and angry population. Look where we are God, even those who claim to know and love you are filled with fury and hate; they no more represent your Son and his teaching than Lucifer did in the first temptation of Eve. Dogged determination and a willing population though got us here, to this crossroads. Will we fall the rest of the way, or will we prove we are not the terrifying and terrible we seem to be.

Dear God, I believe we can fix what is broken. Give us a chance to look forward, and I believe there are enough good men and women who are willing to try. I know we are broken and habitually, we fall from grace, yet I believe there are enough with compassion, empathy and eyes open to the truth. Do not allow what is the worst in us win this battle for our nation’s soul, Please God, from me.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , , , ,

Dear God, IV

September 17, 2020 by

LindaDear God, I haven’t checked in for a while and have to point out things are getting worse down here since our last chat. I don’t think there is anyone down here that will measure up to Job, Noah, Lot, or others from ancient days, just in case you might be looking. Times were simpler, the choices perhaps more black and white. We do not seem to have heroes in our midst these days and the ones we do have are not universally lifted up as they once were. God, I don’t think this is an issue of nuance but rather just a sign of how far we have fallen.

Dear God, you and I talk every single day. These letters are to help me address the things I think shatter us as a people. They are to make a more public stand and be more vocal in my entries to you. Yes, I know much of what I say to you in my letters are broadly spoken. I try not to be too pointed in my placing blame at the feet of the humans I believe are at fault for much that is wrong today. But God, you and I both know the terrible we see is growing exponentially every single day. The violence is expanding, fires are burning hotter both in the cities and in the souls of our people. Those who claim to speak in your name are turning their backs on your word and those in the greatest need in favor of what can only be described as evil.

Dear God, it seems we have not found the bottom of the abyss yet. We keep falling, tumbling further down into the darkness. Shouldn’t there be a bottom? Are we all misidentifying what is happening right now as evil? Is this just the standard everyday ‘bad’ and evil is what is awaiting us? God, I have to tell you I don’t think we are ready for anything worse. Corruption, plagues, catastrophic storms and just plain old human meanness, this is all just taking the heart out of most of us. When you combine this with the terrible isolation, ongoing lack of work and families facing eviction, hunger, and the unrelenting deprivation of so many in our midst. I think we are on the brink of devastation and when I look around God, I see some people cheering it on as they did in Rome during the Gladiator Games. It seems we are both a failed nation and a failed people.

Dear God, what is going to happen to us? I am grateful, my family continues to be safe and secure. Most of those I love continue to be safe and secure, though some have lost jobs and are struggling to keep body and soul together. I am afraid though, afraid for all of us. I think we are all at a loss for what to do next. People we know are sick, even dying and we cannot lay them to rest or grieve them. Our friends and family are losing jobs, losing homes and we cannot help them; we are also without a sanctuary to offer in these terrible times. God, I am frightened. Not just my typical afraid, but genuinely terrified of what will happen to us as a people. I have been watching as our humanity seems to be slipping further away, our empathy and compassion disappearing from our emotional make-up. Is it just me?

Dear God, I believe there is a lesson to be learned in all this; I simply don’t know what it is. When this plague started, I laughed and said it was made for people like me. I thought to myself in the beginning, this is an Introverts paradise. When this began, I laughed each time someone asked me if I was okay in my home alone all day; of course, I was better than okay.   Then I was furloughed, and the days grew much longer with no focus and no outside human interaction. I realized many things about myself in those first long months. God, you gave me the personality I have and the strengths I have. I will be forever grateful for these gifts; without them, I would not have made it this far in life. Those strengths created a terrible wall though, I trained everyone around me that I didn’t need them, that I was good without regular interaction or communications. I have learned a powerful lesson in these six months of being truly alone, I am an Introvert, not a Hermit. Even true Introverts can suffer loneliness, and it can be spiritually crushing.

Dear God, I don’t often talk to you about me personally; I just assume you know. These days though, well, I have to ask you could you look down and just push things along. It is not my intention to add to the cacophony that must be constant for you and I know compared to the needs of others, mine are so minor.  God, I simply need work and security. I am sure I could have done better over the years; I will fall on my sword and acknowledge my failures to you; I spend so much time beating myself up I am sure you are as aware of them as I am. I hope though part of my failure was in my generosity to others, my willingness to help even when I had little myself. Now, at the end of my productive life, I simply need one final opportunity to rebuild. So, God, I know this is a selfish ask, but if you wouldn’t mind, please provide the extra push to finally be working again before I lose everything and have nowhere to go. It is truly my only ask, the rest of what I dream of for myself I will work on for myself and if you see fit to add those blessings to my end of days, I will, of course, be grateful.

Dear God, if you could, please look into our hearts and help us all see the brilliance that could be against the darkness that is. Help us to come together and begin to build together. Not rebuild but to indeed seek what is best in us and to build what is needed for us to progress as a people that understand the need to do better. God, these nearly four years has been a reckoning for many of us, one we sorely needed. For some, it has torn the scales from our eyes, and we have had to acknowledge our own weaknesses and faults. For others though, it has been a time where they have celebrated their release from social restraints and the very worst of their instincts have emerged. Today we are a nation divided by politics, culture and class. The difference between this and the last time is our leadership is driving the wedge further and encouraging the violence.

Dear God, I hope you have a plan. I and so many others are fearful of what November will bring, no matter the outcome. Every Allie is against us and every border closed to us. We are caught.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: ,

Dear God, III

July 8, 2020 by

Dear God, it is getting pretty awful down here and I think you might be ignoring us. Have you finally had enough of our pettiness? I know so many of us are acting like children with our favorite toy taken away. Unfortunately, our favorite toys can kill and I think we need more than a nudge in a better direction if we are going to save ourselves and the world. God, I just don’t see it getting better soon; do you?

Dear God, it doesn’t seem like we know how to talk to each other. I don’t know that we ever really knew how to talk to each other without the veneer of ‘polite’ society, but that veneer has cropped-1960-lindabeen ripped away. Now what we have is fury, hurt feelings and offended people everywhere. You can’t turn on the television or read the news without hearing about it, you know what ‘it’ is, right?

Dear God, I have to tell you right now I am gutted my heart stuttering, barely finding a rhythm each morning to lift me out of my bed. Though I try to find those moments to gladden me, to raise me up and thus offer up to you my gratitude, it becomes ever more difficult the longer this goes on. I think I and so many others have terrible sensory deprivation and we shrink ever inward. God, I think we need you to give us a path out of this, show us the way or we will lose ourselves. Truthfully, what we hear from these TV fakes, they are terrible and those of us with discerning hearts we know they are not speaking in your name yet so many are listening to them it is terrifying.

Dear God, I am afraid. I know many of us are scared right now. Certainly, you hear from people you haven’t heard from in decades beseeching you for help, money, jobs, maybe even salvation, and a host of other things right now. Likely you feel like Santa Clause at the mall with children lined up to sit on your lap and give you their wish list. I am sure the “Oh God” prayers sent your way every single day sounds like a cacophony rather than the pleasing sound of true worship.

You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. James 4:3 ESV

Dear God, it is terrible and terrifying down here right now. I have watched friends turn into enemies at the drop of a misplaced word. I have watched fools say stupid things and bring low entire communities. I have watched children die for nothing and not a word be said, not a word. I have been crushed reading the words of those I thought I knew, sometimes even loved as they repeated the bigoted tropes from one side or the other, accused me of merely trying to ‘fit in’ angelweep2when I simply act on my conscience. God, I don’t think my moral philosophy has changed even in the midst of these trying times; how, though, do I remain detached and not take personally all these terrible over-simplifications and attacks coming from ‘friends?’

Dear God, it is growing more lonely by the day. People are becoming meaner without the ability to touch, I think we are learning physical touch is vital to our very humanity. People are losing their connection to one another, forgetting we are, in truth, part of one great, diverse and beautiful family. We may not always agree, hell we all too frequently do terrible things to each other for petty reasons. But, now God, we are so very disconnected from each other we are forgetting even those we claimed to love, nevermind the stranger on the street. I fear what and who we will be when this is over. So if you wouldn’t mind a nudge is all I am asking, just a reminder for those who can still hear your voice. I fear those who can’t hear you it will require something far more calamitous and I don’t think we could bear that right now.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , ,

Dear God, II

June 13, 2020 by

tears_of_sadnessDear God, I guess you missed the part, last time we talked, about the general fuckery down here and thought you would allow us to continue without intervention just to see how far we could go. I am not at all sure we can withstand much more without a gentle reminder from you of our humanity. A gentle nudge maybe to push us back over toward a kinder and gentler way to be. Truly, things are pretty grim right now and all of us seem to be falling apart. You can see the seams tearing; you can witness us losing our compassion for one another in our race to prove the righteousness of our various causes. I fear for all of us and what we will become if the scales do not fall from our hearts and souls soon and we do not embrace each other soon in our shared humanity.

Dear God, sometimes it is the small things that touch me. Do they affect you too? I think they must and that is why you allow us to continue in our ridiculousness. There are days I skim the news and think humanity is growing more horrible, more depressing and depraved every single day then something wonderful will grab my attention. Maybe it is the story of the child who, on his own, delivers lunches to shut-in elderly people in his neighborhood. Or the story of the bus stops in Utrecht that are now bee shelters. Sometimes it is something as simple as watching cats stalk squirrels in the front yard, just knowing they are never going to catch them, it makes me laugh. These small moments remind me the darkness I feel is not complete yet, you must see we are not entirely unredeemable too, or you would have turned your back by now.2-these-bus-stop-roofs-are-now-tiny-parks-for-bees-813x457

Dear God, so many of your past heroes were imperfect from Abraham to David to Paul; each had their devils. Yet even with their imperfections, their weaknesses, they found their way to redemption and forgiveness. How can we not do the same? What is it in our psyche that prevents us from seeking out the kindness, empathy and compassion we once defined ourselves by? How is it we have allowed a minority to say, we will not be that and we have sat by impassively and permitted terrible acts of inhumanity to be carried out in our and even your name? Oh, I know we have much to make-up for, much that does not speak well of us as a nation or a people. But God, I think many of us want to turn the tide, is it too late for us?

Dear God, I am not doing as well as I thought I would be with this entire isolation in place thing going on down here. In fact, it is challenging to be alone all the time for this long. I know when you sent my soul into my body from the Chamber of Guf, you placed the need for alone into my spirit so I could recharge, create and rebuild. I understand you created a warrior within me to better overcome the challenges you would place before me. I may at times rail against you, well to be clear over the years I have protested against you, blamed you and turned my back on you. But always I return, always bend my head and still, I seek your grace.

Dear God, someone asked me the other day if I thought the reason I did not hold onto love was I chose the wrong people to love. I have not ever chosen who to love; I have loved who was placed before me and have loved them as my heart directed. Never once in my long life have I withheld love, though I have always held my secrets. I think you place in my path those who need to be loved without conditions or judgment, knowing I will give this love easily. Then, when it is time to let go, so broken spirits are less 20ab55a5576cffe1dce94c2fc4b236b0fragmented, I do this also. Leaving only my own heart in tatters and one more secret to keep. God, I am weary. I have loved enough who are broken and cannot love me in return. I have mended enough spirits and taught enough lessons in unconditional love. Maybe in these last years, we could make an even trade, perhaps you could put someone in my path who isn’t broken and might value me equally if you wouldn’t mind.

Dear God, I have to be honest with you on one final point and it is a selfish one. All my life I have worked hard, never asking for anything and never relying on anyone. I have paid my way and the way of many others. Please God, I only want to work, not be diminished in these last years of my productive life. I want to be able to do what I love, be paid fairly for that work and make contributions as I am able. I hate to beg for something so selfish. I know there are millions just like me today and as a nation, we have seen a crashing down of so much. So I know I am being selfish and self-centered when I ask you to please have mercy, let me return to work and save myself.

I know you must be inundated with prayer right now, God, likely from many you haven’t heard from in decades. I hope they are real and genuine prayer. I hope they are from prayer rooms and not pulpits. I will keep sending you these in the hope they blend into the cacophony, and some move you.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , , , ,

Dear God

May 7, 2020 by

Dear God, I would make an ugly corpse, I always wanted to be a beautiful corpse, so this is just one more thing on my list of questions I will have to ask when we meet. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I wonder if today is the day we will meet face-to-face. There are mornings I think maybe today I will accelerate that meeting. Don’t frown, God, I know you don’t approve this thought, but it is hard out here and there are days it is harder than I think I can bear.

Dear God, yesterday a stranger wanted to ‘school’ me on life, politics and relations between the races, the genders and all other things none of his business with regard to my understanding. I am uncertain why he decided I was a good target, but it appeared he needed one and he actively vented his overactive spleen. The outcome being ultimately my loss of patience and temper. Why, though, would a perfect stranger seek me out for the sole purpose of trying to make me ‘less than’? I thought about this after I eliminated his ability to communicate with me, yet it was still on my mind this morning.

Dear God, I know there is light even in the darkest times. I am genuinely working on finding that light, every single day I wake up and the first thing I do is look for those things I am grateful for so I am able to begin the day on a high note. Some days the only thing I can write down in that journal I keep, ‘I am grateful I didn’t have a seizure last night and don’t have to change the sheets this morning.’ God, I know there should be more than this, but these days it is harder than you know to find more. Some nights as I prepare for bed, I wonder what would happen if I stopped taking the medicine that prevents my seizures, not just stopped that night completely stopped. How long would it take for the seizures to start again? A week, a month or would they never start and this angry-godwould be another miracle cure you burdened me with that I never asked you for.

Dear God, I am continually astonished by the fuckery this pandemic has brought out in so many of us. I think this hasn’t changed us, instead, it has merely brought to the surface what has been there, within us all along. Whether it is our bad attitudes, our inherent laziness or our entitlement, all of this is emerging and making us smaller and uglier. I watch and it makes me sad that people I know and love are lashing out, acting out and generally behaving badly. It makes me wonder why I didn’t see this before. I think it would be easier if we could simply sprinkle a little kindness and compassion across the world at a time like this; instead, it seems we have thrown selfish and ‘all about me dirt’ to see where it will stick.

Dear God, this isn’t what I thought my life would be. You have brought me through so much, through so many trials. I somehow thought if I was patient, worked hard and continued to seek grace, learn kindness, act with compassion and yes, even extend forgiveness, I would find peace, happiness and also love with companionship. What I wasn’t expecting is this, fear, loneliness and solitude. I wasn’t expecting this complete lack of relevancy. I wasn’t expecting this escalation of physical pain with no support, no help and no expectation of relief. God, I wasn’t expecting to be facing the rest of my life alone, without a helpmate, a travel mate, a dinner mate and frankly a bed mate. Was this your plan? Can I tell you honestly, your plan sucks.

Dear God, I know I should not question you yet; there is so much in this world worth questioning right now. I learned when I was young; you work in mysterious ways, I understand. Maybe the world needed a big hammer and this is it. I also learned man (and woman) have free will and not all things are your will, but rather, they are the Hands_of_God_and_Adamoutcome of our acts. Yes, I can see the hand of man in this terrible pandemic that is scouring the world today. But God, I wake every morning and I wonder where is your hand and some mornings I have to admit are much harder than others. I have to ask, are you sitting and watching all this and weeping along with us?

Dear God, I would make an ugly corpse you and I both know it. Some days this is the only thing that keeps me going. Other days it is the heroes, the acts of random kindness I witness and the reminders that I love others in this world enough to stay and watch their lives unfold. Some days are so hard I cry myself to sleep. Other days flowers and chocolate arrive from a child not of my blood but of my heart, reminding me life is a gift of endless possibilities. God, I am not hopeless or helpless yet, but my journal of gratitude needs new entries beyond just waking in the morning a bit of intervention on your part would be most welcome about now.

Filed Under: Series: Dear God Tagged With: , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: