Dancing, It’s You

It’s you again

I thought we were done

You forgot to say it was over

After months, I stopped waiting to hear the words

For weeks I begged for why

You only got angry for my asking

Preferring the silence of disdain

Knowing you could hurt me more this way

Yet here you are

Wrapping yourself around my heart

Disturbing my peace

Winding through my nights

Pulling me from my isolation

As if I have nothing better

Nothing to occupy my time

It’s you again, damn

You said you were gone

Out of here, like fog burning off in sunlight

No matter, the fact is you were gone, finally

You chose to leave without word of your going

Yet here you are again, drifting in as you do

It’s you again, damn

I will have to do a better job

Strengthen my fortifications

Keep you locked away with the rest of my demons

I am not yet ready to dance with you

Not in my dreams or any other times

You said we were done

I wish my heart remembered

21-January-2023

Hope Chests

 

black-and-white-girl-sad-vintage-Favim.com-258238

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lost in time, regrets and tears  

The distance between us viscous, overflowing

Not of gentleness but recrimination, regrets

Reaching the place where finding you

Is finding me and the vanished spaces

Dragging along the baggage you left

Emptying spaces full of touchstones

Only to find myself unable to let go

Gathering it all into hope chests

Lovingly polishing to a sheen, memories

Saving the lies as if they were worthy

Of me, of the time given of my tears

Creating excuses for your cruelty

Excusing my acceptance of thoughtlessness

Finally knowing there is a truth you told

“I do not deserve you, you are better”

“You are not good enough for me, I am too good”

Still, I love you as I turn away maybe one last time

27-Jan-2020

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