Hope Chests

 

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Lost in time, regrets and tears  

The distance between us viscous, overflowing

Not of gentleness but recrimination, regrets

Reaching the place where finding you

Is finding me and the vanished spaces

Dragging along the baggage you left

Emptying spaces full of touchstones

Only to find myself unable to let go

Gathering it all into hope chests

Lovingly polishing to a sheen, memories

Saving the lies as if they were worthy

Of me, of the time given of my tears

Creating excuses for your cruelty

Excusing my acceptance of thoughtlessness

Finally knowing there is a truth you told

“I do not deserve you, you are better”

“You are not good enough for me, I am too good”

Still, I love you as I turn away maybe one last time

27-Jan-2020

Bound

 

 

 

 

Tattered and in pieces, shackled invisibly

Howling gales, surrounding me frenzied

Lashing my torn spirit, whispering as I search

Lost, darkness immediate dragging my core

Crying out, find me here on this shore

 

Red skies, angrily brighten the horizon

Breezes calm in dawns face, muting the fury

Showers fall, washing the previous night’s wounds

Chains fall away as a pathway opens ahead

Whispers beckon, barely heard over wind-chimes

 

Soaring, shearing edges from diaphanous clouds

Leaving trails, breadcrumbs to follow as I search

For rest, for peace, for a place to land quietly

Battered, betrayed with redemption beyond reach

Gossamer robes flow around me, burning my skin   

Each touch scorching reminders of pairings

 

Night falls again, nightmares beckon once more

Perhaps tonight will be different

My bond slips as you become more distant

Once my king now my black prince

Still, I miss your skin, in my dreams

My bound memories, reminders of a reverie

 

5-January-2020

Treachery

Embattled by treachery unexpected and dark

Washed over by the tempest of loss and fury

Your storm brewed in deep pits of secrecy

20ab55a5576cffe1dce94c2fc4b236b0Handed to me to unravel, mine to tame in the light

With no ballast to uphold me, to keep me lifted up

Silence and distance, cruelty after all this time

Soft words, the lack of reserve between us

The silence shatters me in its violence

The distance breaks me unforgivingly

My skin chills, with no replacement or sanctuary

The betrayal, so absolute I had no cache stored

Seeking anything to hold me together just long enough

To gather strength and lift myself above, to move  

Silence will become my partner again

Duplicity will seep into my bones and I will rise

Time will pass and these will become me

Signature

23 Nov 2019

Storms

From here I fly, soaring in the slipstream that is you

Energy left behind by the salvo of want and demands

Constantly in your time, forgetful I exist alongside

From here I fly, spiraling outwards touching fresh winds

Lifting me up toward new fashioned bursts of cool air

Clamoring to catch myself as I soar higher than before

That is until I hear you a whisper as loud as a shout

Just my name, calling me back to the inhabited world

Reaching up stretching, seeking just a reminder of freedom

Shattering the chains that keep me earthbound, with a sound

With a cry to the wind that lifted me in a dream

Begging to be thrown back into the maelstrom once more

Whispered words, come home come back stop me short

Bound with chains once of my choosing, tethered by a whisper

To stay,  hetaera to your whims, peace in the tempest of you

Signature

11 May 2019

Hush

Quiet, slip inside the morning

Gently slide into the breaking dawn

Reaching for the newness of it

The sun sneaks through cracks

Warming cool skin on exposed limbs

Fans whirl above moving curtains

Shadows dance across the walls

Beckoning come join the day, play

The sun chases the moon

Dreams fade from memory

Just one more minute, one more

That dream wasn’t quite done

It was almost there in a minute

The day is here wake now

Hush, dreams can be chased later

Signature

28-April-2019

Touch and Go

Dawn pushes through the slates ungently

Demanding tender attention

Rolling away from the day, captivated

Reveling in sparkling heat

Stroking skin with a lovers touch

Savoring the slow build

Basking in the languid stretch of time

Enchanted by silken movement

Relishing the lack of compelling necessity

Chasing fulfillment be met

Only over time and as rising need spreads

Creating soft sighs of desire

Dawn broken through sleep chased out

Dreams captured in memories

Damn, empty bed

14-April-2016

Angels, Devils and the Dance

My demons know how to dance

Experts at moving me in the dark

They have known my soul forever

Stood still and waiting, knowing me

Reaching forward, stroking my fire

Melting my ice and moving with precision

Scouring my soul, my pleas unnoticed

Peace, a memory of harmony or quiet

Different from the sound of night cries

Battering me with memories of times gone

When I willingly joined their dance

Under moonlight, in rain storms and lifted up

Skirts raised up, heels pounding the earth

Not today, no longer

Now I only ask succor, reconciliation

I ask them in the quiet first light of dawn

What will happen if once and for all, forever

I kill you, I destroy your dance

Will my angels die too?

Will I be left empty, do I need you both for my survival

While I Breathe

Girl In The Moonlight Sky

There is hope, while I breathe

Be it the hope of a dreamer

I will continue to dream

Or the hope of the dancer

I will dance on hard floors

While I draw breath

I float on the ether of hope

There is hope, while I breathe

Hope of love returned

Dreamed of, lost and denied

Hope of riches gained

In laughter, joyful tears spent

As I draw breath

I soar on the winds of hope

There is hope, while I breathe

Hope that gold is gold

Hope that silver is silver

Hope that hearts are pure

Hope that spoken words are true

As I draw breath

I drift on warm breezes of hope

While I breathe, I still hope

Always, I remain hopeful

24-March-2016

24-March-2016

Letting Go

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The fire licks at my hips

Climbing higher, burning hotter

The pedestal you set me on

Constructed of kindling

Set aflame by your imagination

By your fury

At unmet demands

Of submission and compliance

Broken by a simple, no more

Never seeing me, hearing me

Begging for simple things

Setting me on a pedestal

Of your expectations

Only to light the hottest fire

Burning to cinders, the me

Of reality, of tarnished wings

Of nightmares, of monsters

Of need and fears

The fire engulfs my heart

You lit your history under my feet

Forgetting I am not them

Your fire of fury has freed me

Unfurled and bound no more

Impossible to stand upon a pedestal

Of kindling and demands

14-March-2016

14-March-2016

Garden of Dreams

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Barren, my spirit cries for freedom

Fingers curled into palms, tightly

Shadows cast against pavement

My longing is first to wander alone

Until your honeyed voice called me

Heat rushed to my skin, burning me

Drawing out my ice encased heart

Soothing the storm in my gypsy soul

 

You draw me back with whispers

Cool wind dances across heated skin

You trace lightly my balled fists

Opening my fury with gentle persuasion

Standing before me, a gentle smile

Swells across my shadow, a blending

Coalesced we come together, softer

We move as one, a dance on starlight

 

The ethereal beckons us both, closer

Unrecognized now in the moonlit glow

Shadows displaced as we slip together

Remember, beauty under stars

Shredded without thought, nor care

Merged again, harder and more true

In a moonlit garden of dreams

4-March-2016

4-March-2016

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