Invisible

You said I was transparent, invisible to you

Yet I was right there, standing in front of you

Even my tears fractured light, making rainbows as they fell

You said I had no meaning to you

But when you needed something, you always called

Now when you sit alone at night you automatically scroll to me

In the morning I see the random texts you send

I listen to the love songs you send at midnight, I weep

It was always me, my unconditional acceptance of your flaws

I was what terrified you, what made you furious

It was me, just who I was that panicked you, made you run

That I never demanded anything of you

Not once did I ask you to see me in the light

Never did I say to you, I am here, I am always here

But here you are again, after days and nights of deathly quiet

A silence brought on by your fear and your terrible

You can only say that you need something of me

I am still standing; I crawled up from invisible

Though truly I was obscured even from myself for a time

Made my way through the emptiness you left behind

Thought I was above it and beyond your reach, finally

But love conquers invisible, conquers tears

Love makes stupid choices when you want answers to ‘why?’

Why did you leave you me with only the memory of Invisible?

20-May-2023

Reminders

I do not remember the feel of your skin

I have forgotten the weight of your arm thrown across me

I cannot recall the sense of you behind me as I wake

The rain though makes me look for you

The wind blows memories of laughter

The cold makes me long for your warmth at my back

The dark sky makes me remember nights of tequila and stories

The emptiness of your side of the bed is sometimes too much for me

I long to beg for answers that you have refused to give

Your cruel indifference should release me, should let me go

Instead, it holds me captive inside my pain and confusion

I create my own stories for your desertion

Maybe they are worse than the truth, but maybe they are not

I do not remember the feel of your skin against mine

This is only one of the lies I repeat to myself hoping to heal

I remember everything, even as I know you had forgotten

Forgotten before you had ever left

12-Dec-2022

%d bloggers like this: