You said I was transparent, invisible to you

Yet I was right there, standing in front of you

Even my tears fractured light, making rainbows as they fell

You said I had no meaning to you

But when you needed something, you always called

Now when you sit alone at night you automatically scroll to me

In the morning I see the random texts you send

I listen to the love songs you send at midnight, I weep

It was always me, my unconditional acceptance of your flaws

I was what terrified you, what made you furious

It was me, just who I was that panicked you, made you run

That I never demanded anything of you

Not once did I ask you to see me in the light

Never did I say to you, I am here, I am always here

But here you are again, after days and nights of deathly quiet

A silence brought on by your fear and your terrible

You can only say that you need something of me

I am still standing; I crawled up from invisible

Though truly I was obscured even from myself for a time

Made my way through the emptiness you left behind

Thought I was above it and beyond your reach, finally

But love conquers invisible, conquers tears

Love makes stupid choices when you want answers to ‘why?’

Why did you leave you me with only the memory of Invisible?



Embattled by treachery unexpected and dark

Washed over by the tempest of loss and fury

Your storm brewed in deep pits of secrecy

20ab55a5576cffe1dce94c2fc4b236b0Handed to me to unravel, mine to tame in the light

With no ballast to uphold me, to keep me lifted up

Silence and distance, cruelty after all this time

Soft words, the lack of reserve between us

The silence shatters me in its violence

The distance breaks me unforgivingly

My skin chills, with no replacement or sanctuary

The betrayal, so absolute I had no cache stored

Seeking anything to hold me together just long enough

To gather strength and lift myself above, to move  

Silence will become my partner again

Duplicity will seep into my bones and I will rise

Time will pass and these will become me


23 Nov 2019

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