Spice is Nice

Fundamentally I have nothing against consenting adults committing incest, you know first cousins marrying, even brothers and sisters having a go if that is what floats their boat. I would prefer they kept their rather twisted desires to themselves, but still fundamentally I am an open-minded adult and I have nothing against consenting adults doing what they want with each other.

If they are going to do this rather sick and nasty act, I just wish they wore protection.

You know, put a raincoat on, prevent conception. Do not under any circumstance visit the products of their choice to keep it in the family on the rest of us.

Let me give you some examples of what I am certain are the outcomes of that old saying, ‘Spice is nice but Incest is Best’.

First up on the hit parade: Secretary of State Kris Kobach, Kansas

In a three way race between Incumbent Pat Roberts and two challengers, Democrat Chad Taylor and Independent Greg Orman it was looking like Republican Pat Roberts would squeak by and hold his Senate seat for a third term. The voters who didn’t like good old Pat were splitting their vote between the two challengers, thus nobody had a clear lead. This was true until on September 3, Chad Taylor sent his very legal letter of withdrawal to State Secretary and honorary member of Pat Roberts re-election campaign, Kris Kobach; when that happened shit hit the fan.

Suddenly the numbers weren’t quite so good and Orman was ahead in the polling, things didn’t look good in the very Red state of Kansas anymore. Kris Kobach had to do something to fix the vote, fix the predicament Pat Roberts found himself in, despite the influx of outside money from the Koch Brothers and the NRA, despite the historically RED of the voters of Kansas. What did Kobach do you ask? Well in his limited wisdom he decided he would refuse to remove the Democrats name from the Ballot, despite were he to somehow be elected he would refuse to serve. That’s right Kobach decided he would split the vote at the polls, fooling those who don’t have a television, listen to the radio or read the newspaper. He decided he would split the vote of those who vote a straight party line. He decided despite the quite legal withdrawal by Democrat Chad Taylor, he would leave his name on the ballot come November.

Well now we come to the crux of the matter, Kobach who doesn’t swim in the deep end of the gene pool decided who would not remove Mr. Taylor’s name from the ballot citing several nebulous laws and Mr. Taylor sued. Then Kobach told the Supreme Court of Kansas (Toto you out there?) he must have a decision by 18-September so the ballots could be printed and sent out to all those fine men and women in uniform, by law mind you. Well, the court ever mindful of their time constraints hand Kobach his ass along with their decision at close of business yesterday, Mr. Taylor will not be on the ballot come voting time, print those ballots and get them mailed without his name, thank you very much.

What do you think that product of incestuous relations said then? Go on guess, I dare you to take a guess.

No clue? Well first he said, ‘just kidding, I don’t need to print them tomorrow.’

Then, he demanded the Democratic Party of Kansas nominate a replacement for Mr. Taylor and place that person’s name on the ballot. He graciously gave them until 8-October to comply with his outrageous and completely ridiculous demands. I searched, while I am not a lawyer and certainly not a specialist in Kansas election standards, I couldn’t find a damned thing that would lead me to believe there must be a Democrat running for the Senate when there is a Republican losing the race against an Independent candidate. In fact, I am fairly certain from what I remember in my civics class there doesn’t even have to be two candidates if only one candidate shows up he / she wins.

From Kansas Election Standards: Candidate Withdrawals

A candidate who has filed for any office may withdraw before the candidate filing deadline by submitting a notarized written statement of withdrawal. [KSA 25-306a] After the filing deadline and after the primary, a candidate for national, state, county or township office who does not wish to be a candidate must submit a notarized written statement declaring him/herself to be “incapable of fulfilling the duties of office” if elected. [KSA 25-306b(b)] Candidate withdrawals create vacancies in candidacies, which in the case of party candidacies are filled by party district convention. [KSA 25-3904, 25-3904a].

There is no provision in law for replacing independent candidates if they withdraw. Likewise, there is no provision in law for replacing candidates in nonpartisan races. So Secretary of State Kris Kobach wins my first I wish they wore protection.

This will be a regular feature going forward; there will be others because really there are so many others who fit the bill. I truly do wish they wore protection.