Don’t Be An Asshole

OpEdI have been thinking a great deal, about what is wrong with the world, specifically what is wrong with these United States of America. The list grows longer every single day, doesn’t it? Really, look around you and there simply aren’t enough minutes in the day to list everything that is wrong, just here, just in this nation so it is utterly impossible to look across the globe and start listing out what is wrong in the world. The strange thing is, when you start unraveling what is wrong with the world much of what unwinds ends up on a spool right here, right back in this little tiny country we call ‘USA’. Strange how that works, isn’t it?

We are rich, even in natural resources we are rich. Yet, it seems we are not rich enough we want more, we want what everyone else has too. We will murder and pillage, we will send our young to die just so we can steal what others have. Our leaders have absolutely no problem lying to us, time and again, sending us to war for the sole purpose of stealing what others have. It seems we never have enough.

We are mostly healthy, though we don’t care for our health very well. Yet, we want everyone to be less healthy than us and to pay more for their health than we do. Damn them if they pay less, we will find something wrong, we will apply the dreaded ‘Socialism’ word to their system and turn up our noses at their successful solutions. We are more than happy when we see plagues in other poor nations; this pleases us to no end. We can feel greater, pointing our fingers and sending some advice along with our condolences. We will spend millions keeping our own people sick, poor and without access to healthcare, medicine and proper nutrition. I suppose I must revise my original statement, we are truthfully a sick nation.

We are a nation of immigrants; our history is one of immigration, waves of immigration from all over the world, both voluntary and involuntary. Our entire history is steeped in bloody battles Murrieta-Immigration-Proetestof migration, whether willing or unwilling each surge of new feet on the ground in this land brought with them culture, language, knowledge and strength. Each wave brought new blood, new worldviews, new cultural norms to merge into what was already here. Each new surge also brought a new focus of hatred, though some have stayed with us while others over time have assimilated into the ‘White’ standard of ‘like us’ and thus ‘good’.

We are a nation that prides ourselves on our decency, our democracy, our record of civil rights, our education system, our freedom and even our diversity. Now there is a list that should make you throw up in your mouth just a little bit. As a nation we have spawned more hate groups and homegrown terrorists than I can count with both hands and feet, we have government representatives working hard every day to strip from our citizens the right to vote, agencies infringing on the freedoms of citizens to live without fear and practice the faith. Our education systems are failing, from pre-K straight through our university, which only the wealthy can afford. Civil Rights, I am surprised we know what these are anymore, with our prisons full and private industries taking them over for profit and diversity is something we talk about, not something we practice.

I am glossing over the deep sickness in this nation. We have a cancer, one that is grown and is frankly malignant. The GOP presidential candidates are the embodiment of what is wrong with this nation. They are not an embarrassment; they are an indictment of us all. That we allowed any of them to survive, let alone thrive, rising to the top condemns us all.


Here is my cure, don’t be an asshole.

It is that simple and starts with each of us.

Don’t be an asshole and don’t let your friends or neighbors be assholes. Don’t turn away, don’t stay silent, start speaking up and demanding better.

When you see someone acting like an asshole in the store, say something. If you don’t, you are contributing to the problem.

When your city council plans on doing something that will destroy green spaces, go to the meeting, speak up. If you don’t you are contributing to the problem.

When your school board is going to do something that will harm the children of your community, even if you don’t have children, speak up. If you don’t you are contributing to the problem.

When you state representative says something that is insulting, racist, sexist or otherwise egregious; speak up don’t let him / her get away with it. If you don’t you are contributing to the problem.

The list goes on, whether it is local or not, don’t be an asshole. Say something. Engage in the community. The only way we change the course of the nation is we become active members of the community large and small. The only way we stop the crazy is if we demand better of ourselves and those around us.

So that is my new motto, even when it is hard to do otherwise, DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE. Even when circumstances may call for it, I am going to try hard to not be an asshole.Kickm

This does not mean you can’t meet idiocy and ignorance head-on. It doesn’t mean you can’t meet prejudice, foolishness and stupidity with intellectual force, which in some cases may appear to be assholishness. All it means, this ‘don’t be an asshole’ movement I am attempting to start, is don’t add to the terrible in the world by being one without warrant or cause.

I hope you will join me, maybe if enough of us decide to speak up when we see bad and work to do good, maybe we can turn this descent into utter chaos around.


  1. Russians sure making US leadership look like A-holes this week. I think they will regret their involvement with the crazies of the region, however.

  2. Val another great post.. Yes it is no good us moaning about things unless we are prepared to take responsibility for our actions. And that means speaking up and living by example.. There are an amazing amount of those wanting their posterior kicked .. And everytime I hear someone from America say ” The American Way” or we are the ‘Land of the Free’ I am sorry Val but I want to throw up.. There is a ‘dark streak’ beneath those who rule, whom I think we all know pull most of the strings, via Greed, and the Corporations they run. They Destroy and then come in to rebuild! and all the while have their fingers in so many foreign Hot pie games.. And I can not think for the life of me why most Americans have not figured this all out.. Some of the politicians should be nominated for Oscars, I mean lets face it. Hollywood is doing a grand job of promoting what USA does best.. 😦

    And I know there are Millions of American citizens who like you Val can see all of this, and want change, justice and the constitutional rights upheld.. But if ordinary citizens DO not speak up, nothing is ever going to change if they keep acting like sheep..

    Great Post,, thoroughly enjoyed it

    PS.. and the UK is no better!

    Love Sue

  3. I’ve known assholes in my day…
    but more people want to Un-Assholes.
    This may be the beginning of a beautiful relationship!


    • I think it is for me simply a reminder to get up in the morning and try hard to do the right thing, even when it isn’t easy. That is what I have to remind myself to do.

  4. To not be an asshole requires empathy. Fact is many simply don’t care enough. They will wash over their misdeeds with a “sorry-not sorry” and all will be forgotten.

    The more we have it seems, the less we care, because the obsession quickly becomes how we can retain what we believe we’re entitled to, by any means necessary, even when it means putting someone else under our feet; this is privilege at its pinnacle.

    To not be an asshole is to not care about the loss of privilege.

  5. It’s funny how Ben Carson has dipped in the polls after the Muslim comment but Obama was targeted for being a Muslim and born in Kenya. Why, if we supposedly have a problem with the Muslim faith is it not okay to say it’s not acceptable to have a Muslim president? We have two faces and it’s hard to read what the message is sometimes.

    Socialism seems like a good thing if it’s about the people and from my understanding, it has been about the people. Republicans are for the rich and Democrats want democracy but it’s not within everyone’s grasp. It’s a dream. I think, as I heard recently on the news, that Trump being a part of the presidential race is bringing out the inner bully in many. He’s mean and has NO plan he can elaborate on.

    Yes, we do need to take part of our community meetings because a multitude of voices can make all the difference and perhaps the change we want to see.

    • That is what I think Totsy, that we need to start standing up for 14 year-old boys with names that are different but who have big dreams. That we need to start showing up when they want to take our green spaces, instead of thinking someone else will do it for us. That we need to start stepping out of our comfort zone when public figures and politicians say terrible things and start demanding they stop.

      I think we need to start saying, hell no we don’t want to go back, or allow others to ‘take’ us back or ‘take’ their country back…from whom or too what? We need to start demanding accountability. From ourselves and others, so the children that are here can thrive, so the refugees our wars create can land, so the next generation have something to build on.

      I am simply worn out from the sheer meanness of it all.

  6. Mr. Militant Negro says:

    Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.

  7. It’s a great place to start, Val. But I think you’re preaching to the choir as none of US are assholes, are we?

    It’s everybody else. 😉

    • I think all of can be Elyse, don’t you? I know I can be. I know I can be selfish, self-centered and blind to the world around me sometimes. I think this goes so far beyond the politics and simply into our everyday life.


  8. While I think there are good people in this country who are already doing that, we can do much, much better than we are. So I’ll happily accept your new motto and strive to meet it daily! (Though hopefully I already do.)

    • I think many of us already do. The problem is, we simply don’t do enough. It is a combination don’t you think? Taking the blinders off, seeing what is in front of our face every single day. Being kind, speaking up, demanding better.

      I don’t know Carrie, I know I could do better than I do. So I am going to try to do better. It certainly goes beyond politics.


  9. Dreamer9177 says:

    Hatred is always much easier than critical thinking. This explains the RWNJ republiKKKan nonsense.

  10. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing; agree wholeheartedly

  11. I am on board for dropping the assholes where they stand. I am currently up to two assholes per week. Xxx

  12. Excellent post … straight to the point. I’m joining you and your movement. DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE … taking off!!

  13. I have been trying to be a part of this movement already, Val. 🙂 Not saying I’m successful at it, but trying.
    But curing assholery isn’t the going to solve everything, unfortunately, because some people are not actually being assholes when their behavior looks that way – it’s just their idea of what is good for the society and the world can be drastically different. Unfortunately, this idea can be steeped in idiocy and ignorance, and people genuinely believe that creating jobs is better than protecting the environment and green spaces, that guns save lives, that gayness is a disease and can be fixed, that free market solves all, and so on. So these people care and want to make the world a better place, but thanks to their ignorance and/or idiocy, they’re doing just the opposite.
    That probably doesn’t apply to the people running for president now, because I’m sure a lot of them are smart and educated enough to understand that, yet choose to hold these positions for their own selfish (read “assholic”) reasons.

  14. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    So very true ….. “when you start unraveling what is wrong with the world much of what unwinds ends up on a spool right here, right back in this little tiny country we call ‘USA’.”

  15. frigginloon says:

    You know I just have to …

  16. Whoa, I am not coming there any time soon.. I guess it is going to get real loud out there if they take your advice 😀

    But, on a serious note, I never could understand why the Americans have such hatred for socialism or for that matter, communism? Lack of awareness of the principles or the concepts? Often, it is a knee-jerk reaction – Pinko, red, commie, socialist (as if it is some kind of mortal insult). The thing is, you might have had socialist and communist adversaries, but why would the principles not matter? And I am not even getting into the merits or demerits of communist/socialist regimes. I am just talking about the ideology. It is as if (even my friends) most Americans are trained to detest the word on sight. Never mind if they have never read Marx or Engels, or read about any of the socialisms and factions and genres within, to debate about it. I am an outsider, but the question has always intrigued me, fascinated me. Why?

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