If We Were Having Coffee-Circles Unbroken

If we were having coffeeimages we might have it here, in my small but a little bit cozy apartment. I still haven’t fully unpacked, there are a few boxes I have no clue what they contain. I struggle to figure out how to organize the bits and pieces, but have finally decided maybe I simply don’t need too right at this moment in time (more later). I would offer you a seat either at my table, on the couch or outside on the porch overlooking the pool, what is on offer is a selection of hot or cold beverages today. Yes, I still have the Tequila in the freezer but I am not feeling the need, happy to provide some for you though if you feel as if it will help you through the day.

It has been terrible out in the world, hasn’t it? I remain stunned by the lack of viable candidates for POTUS from the two major political parties. I stand ashamed for us as a nation that this is what we have to choose from. The USA has for years called themselves the leader of the free world and we have stomped through the world as if we had the right to be there, telling others how to run their nations. We have plowed through nations, as if we had the moral obligation to ‘right’ the wrongs. I believe we can safely say, we are not the moral / ethical standard bearers of jack shit any longer. We haven’t been for a very long time, probably for far longer than any of us realize but with this election cycle I think it is safe to say we can put down our national ego, tuck our tails between our legs and keep our happy asses at home.

The news has been full of terrible and tragic. I can hardly bring myself to turn on the television anymore. Worse yet, though we seem to have a plethora of reasons to take a hard look at ourselves and make changes, those we have put in charge don’t seem to be aligned with us. Forty-nine dead in Orlando at the hand of a maniac, two young girls dead at the hand of their mother in Houston and still nothing. Congress people ‘sitting in’ on the floor of the House, deemed nothing more than a ‘publicity stunt’ by a tone deaf House Speaker, while a nation clamors for change. The DNC ignoring the voices of millions to define a platform for the future distinctly not Progressive and not inclusive of those who have said ‘Never Hillary’, nearly insuring a future Trump presidency.

Abraham Lincoln said, “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”

I believe we are seeing the beginning of the end of our once great nation.

Maybe I will take some of that Tequila after all, what about you?

If we were having coffee I would have to turn the conversation toward some better subjects, this one has been a bit morose. Honestly, when I sold my house and moved to this apartment I thought I would be here for at least six months. The market in Dallas is hot and rough right now, houses come on and off in the blink of the eye, they are also expensive and I was beginning to think I was going to be priced out of the market. Honestly? I was getting a little bit afraid, thinking maybe I had made a rash decision in selling my house. Well lo and behold, I simply needed to broaden my mind and my search field. Not only did I find something that suits me quite well, I made an offer, but I am in the tail end of the escrow process.


Not there yet mind you. The inspection is done, out of this there were some concessions made and I am happy. The appraisal should be back next week and I don’t expect any surprises. My finance package is with the underwriter and though there are always questions because of my status as a ‘contractor’ and private business owner, I honestly don’t expect any real problems. The house is fun, it is 2,400 sq. ft. all on one floor. It is imperfect, just the way I like it, needs work but it isn’t a disaster. Built in 1976, it has great potential to be fabulous! There are some things I will do before ever moving in and other things I will do over the next two years to make it entirely mine.

Things to do before moving a stick of furniture into the house:

  • Fix all faulty AC venting
  • Fix plumbing in master bath
  • Remove all carpeting and tile throughout house and replace with stained concrete or hardwood
  • Repaint entire interior
  • Replace exterior door hardware
  • Install security system
  • Remove screen door
  • Widen interior office door (converted garage) and hang Barn Doors
  • Replace electric kitchen appliances with gas (oven and stove)

Seems like a long list doesn’t it? I know it seems daunting to me too. But honestly it isn’t that bad, either cost or effort wise. Most of it is small stuff, likely the worst one on there (cost) is the floors, I simply cannot tolerate carpet though. The funny thing about this little gem in the rough? It is a ‘flipped’ house, the current owner put lipstick on a pig, clearly watched far too many house flipping shows but didn’t pay attention to the important stuff, thus ended up having to pay $5,000 in repair concessions which will go a long ways toward my ‘things I have to do’ budget.


Assuming all goes well, I will close on the house 11-July and all the work will be done within 30 days. So I will be living in my new home by 1-September. Exciting stuff.

One more thing that is sort of exciting, if you have followed along with me for a while you might remember a few years ago when I wrote about the Grown Assed Man, here and here that I wanted in my life. It has taken me a while, it has taken a few missteps and a couple of stumbles. It has been a difficult time of resets, finding my own personal comfort zones and learning that I am first very good company and second a very good person and woman. When I finally found my way through all that, I also figured out what I wrote in Grown Assed Man Parts 1 and 2, that really was in large part all of it, what I wanted and needed in a partner/lover and that I deserved it all. The other thing I discovered? I deserved to have it all, but having it all was different today than I thought. Today having it all meant retaining my independence and personal ‘self’ even while growing into a commitment that might just be with that Grown Assed Man I wrote about.

So that is what has been going on, just small things. I hope as always you are doing well and you will tell me what is going on with you. As usual I have taken over the entire conversation. I do want to share this with you, I found it recently and it has stuck with me, I hope you find it as poignant as I have.




  1. frigginloon says:

    Val, I have followed your journey for many years now and am so grateful that you have shared it. You have weathered many a storm but now you can finally anchor. That deserves a toast xxx

  2. Cheers to the new homestead … and in time, it will be a wonderful home as the Val Touch takes over! 🙂 Love this line – moral / ethical standard bearers of jack shit – a home run on that one.

    Meanwhile, given the horrifying news from your city, you came to mind … Peace to you.

  3. Congratulations on your fabulous new house Val! What a lovely setting! So happy that things worked out for you. Shall have to catch up on all the details leading up to this happy event. Good luck with the move.

    Politics and recent events, along with increasingly xenophobic attitudes worldwide, are too depressing to dwell upon. Enjoy that Tequila 🙂

  4. Time for some Fire Apples!!! I am so excited to get started on your new house 🙂 You have done so very well this year. Makes my heart soar to see you happy.
    I love you

  5. Congrats on your new home. It looks great! I love the way the sidewalks curve around, and that the yard isn’t perfectly square. And the tree … somehow I never imagined Dallas having nice trees (I don’t know why, perhaps simply because I have never thought about the trees in Dallas). It looks like a nice place to have an early morning cup of coffee. Glad to hear that things are falling into good places … XOXO

    • We have fabulous trees John, Pecan, Live Oak, Magnolia just to name a few. I like the old trees in this yard too, though I have to trim that one back off the roof line first thing. This is an older neighborhood and the house sits on the corner of a dead end makes the yard fun doesn’t it. Another first thing for me? Plant some Lavender in the front yard, maybe in the back too.

      Just have to get this through the underwriter! That is all.

  6. Val, I am so excited for you and your new beginnings! The new home is lovely. I am so glad you will be able to make the changes that you want. I could not handle carpet either. Thanks for the coffee – I’ll have wine later. And the other potential romantic possibilities are exciting for you too but I know you will maintain your independence. “Jack shit” – sounds like Texas talk! Hugs and love to you! Cheers too!

    • Funny you mention wine! I found I have space in my laundry room for both a wine fridge and a beverage fridge. My Plan? Add both, right now my refrigerator is given over to beverages rather than food. Someone mentioned to me I have a classic bachelor fridge, this is the truth.

      Jack Shit – absolute Texas Talk. I have heard it through generations starting with my terrible grandfather and his cronies out in Sinton.

  7. Hi Val, so good to see you over at my place for that coffee. 🙂
    And yes the News has been taboo for me too.. More so now we are leaving the EU, The run up to that event was awful, like a bunch of kids in shouting matches at school..
    Now everyone has thrown their ball in and sulking as half the shadow cabinet has resigned this week.. A real Shambles.
    So I disconnected too for a time.

    I am really happy that you have found somewhere to Love and turn into your own Val.. My fingers and toes are crossed for you that all sails smoothly through.

    I am also happy that you have found that ‘Grown Assed Man’ that I so remember you spoke about.. And I feel that you have turned a huge corner in your life Val..
    It is about time things swung your way my friend.. And I am so happy for you..
    Sending you my love, and the less said about Politics on both side of the Pond the better! Lol
    Love to you Val.. I have been wondering how you have been and there you go and call on by..
    Love Sue xx ❤ ❤

    • It is still swinging Sue. I feel as if I am on a constant pendulum right now, but instead of screaming at the top of my lungs ‘Stop’ I am laughing most of the time. It is good, most of the time. I will take that for now.

  8. Maurice says:

    How’s the new house coming?

  9. Don’t unpack too much. I moved almost eight years ago. I still have untouched boxes. 😀
    😀 I know whats in most of them–just don’t have room but cannot part ways yet.
    Lovely house. New beginnings are exciting. Love that huge tree and the space between the houses. Wish you lots of success there. (( ❤ ))

    • Thanks! I am not in love yet, well maybe in love with the potential. The problem is, it isn’t through the underwriter yet and things could still go sideways so until all of it is done I am trying to keep things balanced. I don’t want to be heartbroken, you know?

  10. hi
    I’ll have some tequila thank you very much…
    I try not to watch the news it’s so….. *sips tequila* to wash away the taste in my mouth like don’t nothing good ever happen in the world?
    so I skip the news and as I figure it, if something important (like the world ending or Monday becoming the new Friday) that I really need to know about someone will tell me.

    funny thing about packing stuff when you move you realize how much of the stuff that you have, that you actually need or use and how much just takes up space…. I found a box I haven’t unpacked in two years in the garage outside of sentimental reasons this stuff is hardly of no use to me.
    Sounds like the new place a bit of fixer upper, but looks like a lovely place….
    chuckling at lipstick on a pig, who would. do that literally though haha.
    .thanks for the coffee

    • Having been a bit of a news / political junkie most of my life this not turning the news on, well it is a bit like going through withdrawal. Nevertheless, like you I suspect I will hear all the really terrible stuff no matter what.

      Having moved from the big house, I purged once already. I think the move to the next house will cause another purge. I am good with that. It is a fixer upper, despite the best efforts of the person who thought that is what they were doing.

      Thanks for stopping by.

  11. Val, your new house looks lovely — full of possibilities. And that tree in the front is lovely. As for the boxes, unpack what you need and leave the rest. You will just need to pack them again in two shakes!

    As for the world, oy ey! I am sure it will keep turning, but seriously. How the hell did we fuck everything up?

    • How the hell did we do that indeed? I ask myself this question daily. Oddly, I am looking back at the Lincoln years right now, and it seems we have come nearly full circle in some areas. Ever hear of the ‘American Party aka Know Nothings’.

      That old idea of those who fail to learn from history are bound to repeat it, well yes that is us, right here and right now.

      That house, I am giddy with the idea I get to start over again! Such great fun. I love this shit. 😉

      • Yes, I’ be heard of f the know nothings. And not just because I’m living through their second coming …

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