After All

Not the usual fare today, this is new and part of the fury I have felt over the past few days as I draw closer to my Divorce being finalized. It is the inevitable ending, it is the right ending. I am at peace, yet I am still this as well.



When the wind lifts the hair from my neck, I think it’s you

                Breathing softly against my back in the morning

                Or at night as we rest together, just before sleep

                I use to leave the window open for the wind

I still sleep on my side of the bed, the one furthest from the door

                One leg dangles over the side just slightly, as if to escape

                I can’t convince my sleeping body to move in the bed that is mine

That leg is always numb when I wake in the morning

The storms blow through and I look for you as I gather ‘emergency’ supplies

                You told me you would protect me, go to war for me

                Of course you also told me, ‘Run, baby run’ in case of an attack

                I think run was the truth it is after all what you did

You said, ‘I will always love you’

                I believed you, even when you left I heard your words echoing

                Whispered in my head as I fell into bed, alone

                My heart beat to words taken back by you silently

My dreams are not  filled with you anymore

                I wake up in tears though I don’t know why

                The light is still on, I can’t sleep without its glow

               You never did chase the monsters away

You only loved the part of me I showed you, did you know

                I never trusted you with my secrets

                Never showed you the graveyard of my soul

                I think I knew you couldn’t be trusted with all of me

                                My heart knew you would run someday leaving me alone

Valentine, 14-May 2014

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