If We Were Having Coffee: Out of Control

imagesIf we were having coffee we would finally have to find a coffee shop, my house is in chaos as I try to sort thirteen years of ‘hoarding’ in a week. What the hell was I thinking? Order anything you want, really it is on me just for the company.

Saturday, my sister from another mother Red of M3 fame and I, sat out in fabulous Texas sun and conducted the first of what will be three (3) garage sales. We didn’t do too terribly badly though both of us forgot our sun screen and both of us turned a bit pink by the end of the day, her far more than I. It was interesting to see what people bought, fascinating really. I have only one thing to say about this entire garage sale thing, well maybe two; (1) I am not taking a single thing back, what doesn’t sell is either being donated or going into the trash; (2) really people offer me a different price, don’t steal.


Red’s Sun Burn

If we were having coffee I would tell you about my penchant for order and having things always in place in my surroundings, I might be a little bit OCD. I told someone last night I was not doing well in the chaos, it is the truth, and last night I crawled into my spare bed and cried myself to sleep. There are so many things still to do, so many things still to sort, so many things without a home or needing a decision and I don’t know where to start or how to get it all done by Thursday. If you are wondering why I had to crawl into the spare bed, well I was able to sell the master bedroom suite, bed and all. Sleeping in the new bed makes me realize just how spoiled I have been with all that space.

The other thing I have realized through this process, while I am not really a hoarder, I have amassed an ungodly amount of miscellaneous stuff. Stuff from travels, stuff from wandering through life, mementos; just stuff. Now I am sorting through it all, some of it makes me laugh as I remember where and when I picked it up, other times I just sit down wherever I am and let the memory wash over me.  Then there are the books, every single book I love, years of book collecting. Books of escapism, books for research, antique books, books for words and cookbooks. I am going to store the collection that remains after the purge, but the harder part was letting go, so many books to just let go.

If we were having coffee I would have to tell you about my adventure with Verizon/Frontier Communications. Last week has been special, I will tell you this has pushed me over the edge and came at a time where I really was staring into the abyss already so didn’t need anything else. When I woke up at 4am last Wednesday, I wandered up to my office to check e-mail and wander through social media, hopefully get some blog reading done and see what was going on in the world only to discover I had no internet connectivity. Like any reasonable person would do, I reset my router, then I turned it on and off, then I reset it again and again and again. No luck, nothing worked. So I waited until Verizon/Frontier tech services opened at 7am. You should know, Verizon sold off their businesses to Frontier last month. Just for extra background, you should also know I have a business account, my Service Agreement with Verizon was my account could not have down service time for more than 24 hours, it is why I pay a premium for my services.

Wednesday morning I called. They told me to reset my router. Just for shit and giggles I did, ten (10) more times between 7:30am and 1pm. Yes, that is how long I was on the phone with them the first time, granted most of that time was spent on hold. The second call that day was to customer service, where I finally got someone to agree to a service order for a technician to be sent out the following day. That person mentioned my Service Agreement must be verbal, she couldn’t see the Verizon agreement for 24 hours. Oddly though, when I placed the order to move services to the new apartment and stated I did not want to move my landline she could see the $498 penalty I would have to pay for dropping services but couldn’t see the Service Level Agreement of 24 Hour Down Time, interesting.


Thursday came and went, without a Technician. I called, at noon and they said they couldn’t tell me when because Frontier doesn’t do service windows. I called at 3pm and they told me I would have to call back at 5pm, the last dispatch. I called back at 5pm, the lovely little man at the other end of the phone explained they had never dispatched because the ticket had been turned over to the VOIP department, until that department released the ticket no tech would be dispatched, he couldn’t tell me when that would be. I called Friday, same discussion but now I have been without services which includes both internet and television for three (3) days and am told I will not have services over the weekend either. So I tell the nice little man in Customer Service I intend to cancel all services, can you guess what happens next? Not only can he not find the original order to move those services to the new apartment but he has the unmitigated gall to tell me the penalty for cancellation would be $1,329, really?

Frontier, has cost me five days of potential work, has prevented me from looking for work, has breached their contract with me and actually believes they will charge me a penalty for cancelling services they are unable to deliver…….really? I admit, I lost my temper. I admit what came out of my mouth was impolite. I had finally been pushed over the edge.

If we were having coffee I would tell you, don’t try this alone. Don’t try to move alone. Don’t try to pack alone. Don’t try to do any of this alone. It is too hard. I know it is nearly over, nearly at the end. But honestly? My nerves are so frayed I am snapping, I know I am forgetting things, I know I am going to lose friends before it is all said and done. Clearly, I haven’t been to visit any of you for weeks. It isn’t because I don’t want to, believe me I could use a break and something positive right now. I will be back though, I will get back to you, I will start reading again, commenting again, interacting again and writing again even. Maybe I will even share some more positive stuff happening in my world, things that don’t suck (there are a few).

I really hope you would interrupt me now and then, jump in and tell me what you have been up to. I truly do hope you have had a better time of it than me, I would love to live vicariously through you!

If you pray, pray for me. If you don’t well laugh alongside me while I finish this move. Next week, despite it all I am off to Hot Springs for a few days of R & R.



  1. ARGH!!! Garage sales are the worst. People will always offer less no matter what. After my last garage sale I told all my friends, family and husband that if I EVER said I was going to have another garage sale to have me committed because I had completely lost my mind. So I feel your pain. You are doing the right thing in letting go of stuff.

  2. Garage sales sound like fun. In Singapore, most of us live in apartments as you know, and garage sales ads usually attract the “rag-and-bone” dealers. Quite boring. We don’t get to meet many “regular” folks.

  3. Moving house is one of the most stressful things ever.. So I am not surprised that you cried yourself to sleep one night Val. Doing this by yourself, even with the help of Dear Red, must have really taken it out of you..

    You know as I piece things together in this world and as I read your words as you ‘Let Go’ of ‘Things’ you have gathered around yourself.. I so see a pattern in the world right now..

    As we let go of material possessions, be it down sizing, or clearing out our closets or garages.. And as I look further afield to those who flee the turbulence of War as the Refugee crisis is still not going away around the globe.. As people abandon everything to save what is most precious to them. Their lives..

    I see this Move Val as your Letting Go.. Not only of the material you are having to let go of, but how you are also letting go of the Past..

    The Internet another blip/ Sign if you like as it took yet another doorway from you ..

    Sorry I must have just missed this post Val as I travelled to Scotland on the 28th April for a week, then my own computer started giving me problems, resulting in it going in for repairs which were major.. I lost lots of data, ( another letting Go sign ) as a new hard drive was needed and even though I had saved to the computer back up, it failed too.. Thankfully I had saved my poems to another source.. 🙂 so they are safe.

    I hope as so much time has now past, you are in a better place both physically and mentally dear friend..

    And I was so so pleased to see you..
    Love and you know my prayers and thoughts are always with you..
    Big Hugs and give Red a shout from me too..
    ❤ Love Sue xxx

  4. Customer service is 1000 times better in everything since I moved here to Greensboro, NC from Miami last year.

  5. I’m more than late on this one … I know much has been on your plate for many weeks, but wanted you to know that you popped into my head. 🙂

  6. For real? Stealing at garage sales? They really need to be in a therapy circle ’cause that’s ridiculous.

    Oh, if you don’t mind, swing my way and clean out my garage too (wink, wink).

    **It’s Totsy, by the way. Shut down the blog after a spam invasion.**

  7. You have my sincere sympathies having done the move thing 22 times since getting married. I too am amazed at the ability to carry trash around the world for years before finally plucking up courage to dump it. Each move convinces me never to accumulate stuff again but having been in this place for three years now I have a mountain of stuff that I could easily do without. Draw courage, you’ll make it to the new place unharmed and I’m sure you’ll draw back from the natural inclination to kill anyone getting into your path. lol. My daughter in CA is having similar problems with the internet provider. Better move to Oz where we have a reliable service. 🙂

    • Having finally finished (somewhat) and finally gotten internet back up (somewhat) I am catching up. I find myself bounding on toes and thinking, ‘well that was quite the adventure’.

      Stay tuned Ian, it is time to write again. Now that I have found a bit of peace and quite.

  8. frigginloon says:

    OK Val, I must admit if I was having coffee with you I would be LOLing so hard you would punch me. But eventually you would LOL too…given I would have convinced you to have a beer or two.

    I have a suggestion, before you sell or chuck all those “mementos” and “stuff” grab your phone and take a photo of each and everyone. Then grab yourself a scrapbook and stick them in there. Hoard away in your scrapbook.

    • The things I love, I have pictures of. The things I don’t love but were just tumbling through my space? MEH

      I suggest, it wouldn’t take long. ROFLOL would be the drink of the day I expect. Once I revived from no services, etc. As you can see I am only now catching up. It wasn’t at the end of the day terrible to be out of the loop for so long. In truth, might have done me some good. We will see.

  9. You do deserve some R & R in Hot Springs at a lovely spa! At least your garage sale was successful. If I had been close, I would have come over to help and bring you some coffee. Sorry about the sunburn. We sometimes think of downsizing but can’t bear the thought of going through all of our stuff. The Frontier story was horrid! I would have been angry too. All the best to you, Val! Keep in touch and enjoy you R & R.

    • Hot Springs was fabulous. I had never been so it was new and beautiful. The weeks without reliable service, well it was interesting and the saga continues but we will see where it ends.

      Thanks for you continued support. I have been missing for well over a month, I hope I have missed to much.

  10. Ugh, customer service sucks anymore.

    I’m packing up my place, too, and it’s taking its toll. All the memories… Sigh…

    • The memories are truly the worst aren’t they? I continue to find nooks I didn’t know where there and things in the nooks I had forgotten. Well, it is fine I think maybe it is good; good to purge, good to let go of some and hold on to others.

      Sigh, indeed big heavy sigh.

  11. Dropping back by to respond to the comment you left on my blog about the question I would ask: “YES, YES, YES, YES!” I am soooooooooooo happy for you. Yes! 🙂

  12. Well of course we’ll be alongside you as you move and be cheering you on to new beginnings ♥ We all adore you! Psst I love collecting books too 😉

  13. I love shopping at other people’s garage sales, but hate having them myself for exactly the reason you described: people think nothing of trying to commit highway robbery when they are already getting a hell of a deal on most items! Ugh. Go back to the aisles of Walmart with that kind of attitude, folks.

  14. I’m doing a mini longer version of what you are doing – mom’s place. You are right, don’t try to do any of it alone is stellar advice. The move would be hard enough for anyone in such a small window of time – not having internet/tv to give you some down time – apparently when it rains it pours is true. I’m sorry…

    • Oh, it is okay. Truly. Thankfully, I have support and love. I am getting there. Some of it is paid for some of it is simply offered in love. I take it all.

      I did my mother and father when they passed, it was hard. It was also gratifying. ❤

  15. –if we were having coffee…
    I would tell you everything is going to be okay.
    How do I know?
    …because God has your back, sweets.

    xxx kiss for you and Red.

    PS. put sun-screen on your feet, will ya?!

    • Those are Red’s feet, I will tell her.

      I think God has my back and my heart. So many things tell me this is true. I wish I could talk to you and tell you why I know. You would giggle with me through the stories.

  16. We are not going to burn next weekend. 🙂 Hopefully, my Wolf will not be abed and can help. Sadly, I doubt he will be making a miraculous recovery. Then again, it all hinges on whether I choose to kill him in his sleep or let him rest. *giggles*

    I love you, and if you think I am one who is going to hit the rail, you are direly mistaken. I farn’t agoin’ nowhere.

    • I love you too! I have so much to add to the sale, I don’t know where to put it to get it out of the way…..the garage is full.

      I don’t even know how to take pictures at this point.


  17. Moving is an overwhelming chore unto itself. But a $1,329 cancellation fee! Are they serious?! I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, considering they’re a utility company. I hope all of that has been resolved by the time you get back from Hot Springs.

    By the way, let me know if you want to unload any of your books. I feel the 450+ in my own collection isn’t enough. 🙂

  18. You poor thing . . . Moving is horrendous! And don’t even get me started about the cable company issues (they lost all of our emails when we moved and can’t bring them back for love nor money). I will pray for you, kiddo. One step at a time . . .

  19. I know it’s cliche … but you’ll make it through this, stronger, better. Rebirthing and reinventing is never easy. Love to you.

  20. As difficult as it is to get rid of your things, I’m sure it’s a bit of relief too. Garage sales are a good way to go, but it all adds up to a lot of work, no doubt.

    As for the internet thing, so sorry to hear it. It happened to us a couple weeks ago, and we went without for over 24 hours. Lots of phone calls back and forth. A trip to the cable store. You know the drill. Of course, it went out right after I put up a blog post. Thank heavens for 4G and iPads, that’s all I can say.

    • So far? 5 days and counting. With luck, they will get it working my last day in this house.


      The garage sale thing? It is a great deal of work, but it is also interesting and the opportunity to simply sit.

  21. Mr. Militant Negro says:

    Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.

  22. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    If we were having coffee …. I’ be listening attentively … with a cup of tea!! Wishing you all the best …. hugs!!

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